Intimacy: Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking...

By konichiwa - 02/11/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 895

You deserved it 34 719

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By FML - 05/07/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 052

You deserved it 4 614

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 16:00

Today, after two months without sex, my new coworker began telling me about how his ex dumped him after fucking all his friends. The only response I could muster was, “Well, I wish I knew you better.” That got HR involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 1 171

By Anonymous - 17/03/2018 19:00

Today, I got a promotion because my boss “accidentally” had sex with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 823

You deserved it 395

Creep in chief

By wow @ creepy fuckers - 17/11/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 150

You deserved it 6 143

Lil' cutie

By pitytitty - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 759

You deserved it 7 326

Fight!

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 06:00

Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 459

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, one of my good friends confided in me about the affair she is having with our boss. She'd been sleeping with him for 3 months and told me they were in love, but it had to be kept quiet due to our company's very strict anti-fraternization policy . I'd been secretly seeing him all year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 308

You deserved it 23 882

By Anonymous - 31/08/2012 23:16 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 144

You deserved it 4 919

By Chris - 01/01/2011 05:06 - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 488

You deserved it 3 931

Undercover

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 21:00

Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 206

EffYoLife 14

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:45

well thats what he gets for cheating on his girlfriend. if he didnt do that, you wouldnt have had that story to tell. so oh well FHL (eff HIS life)

EmmjayHEY 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:38

smooooooth

Comments

CrysGom 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 3:24

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

RoxiLady 10

Monday 8 April 2013 16:57

Thats not a secret you keep!

perdix 29

Tuesday 3 November 2009 4:34

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Alanber92 5

Tuesday 24 April 2012 20:28

This is the first time I've seen Perdix's comment buried due to negative votes....

Ms_ValS 27

Thursday 11 April 2013 0:35

Apparently girls don't care as long as you give her money. One problem. She's the committed gf not your local hooker.

Life_is_FML 22

Saturday 6 July 2013 20:35

I'm sorry but if my boyfriend had sex with someone else regardless of who they were I'd be a little pissed. OP didn't really deserve it for being truthful