Health: Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I...

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 713

You deserved it 35 109

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Same thing different taste

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 339

By yikes - 21/04/2012 08:36 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 141

You deserved it 3 769

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 635

Confinement, episode 3774

By S3XY_SiNG3R - 11/04/2020 02:00

Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 2 046

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 124

You deserved it 53 766

By CallmeEddie - 14/11/2013 16:44 - United States - Joliet

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 878

You deserved it 4 906

By heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 064

You deserved it 12 719

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 313

You deserved it 7 643

TW: Gross

By sweet_stufz - 11/11/2010 13:30 - Canada

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 649

You deserved it 38 888

By Anonymous - 22/04/2013 18:33 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 905

You deserved it 8 669

FYLDeep 25

Wednesday 19 January 2011 12:30

That's not a drinking fountain? ****, I've been doing this all wrong.

MauriceWinifred 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 12:07

and that's why you buy one of those Japanese toilets.

Comments

Doortje 29

Wednesday 19 January 2011 12:28

Just get your boyfriend to bring you some.

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 19 January 2011 14:28

Makes you wonder just how stupid OP is.... Alternatively, she could use the piece that killed the spider. What? It is dead, after all.

stevenmx86 7

Wednesday 19 January 2011 12:50

Ydi for using so much tp...

rustic 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 13:03

ydi for being such a sissy? what's the spider gonna do? Crawl up your butt? obviously that wouldn't have worked since it can't go up with everything else coming down >.>" poor harmless creature >.> -sigh-

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 19 January 2011 14:30

The spider could bite her on the ass. Are those your real eye color?

rustic 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 9:55

true true they can bite her there. and lol no I wish, but I edited my eyes only :3

DakotaCat 4

Wednesday 19 January 2011 13:22

Ydi! I'm scared of lizards and you don't see ME killing them!

Fatman13 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 6:21

I'm pretty sure I've never seen you at all...

frostiebeanz 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 13:27

1.poor spider, you bitch. live and let live. 2. get in shower spread ur ass apart and wash it 3. what would mcGyver do?

woopa18 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 13:37

this is when you man up and brush the dead spiders bits off the toilet paper and use it haha

underpaid011 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 13:49

use the dead spider paper, or else wear panties with the mother of all skid marks!

libbye 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 14:01

ydi for killing an innocent lil spider. bitch.

docbrown_fml 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 14:19

cute kitten

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

Wednesday 19 January 2011 14:50

umm y didn't use something else besides toliet paper to kill it? XD I mean u know ur in a bathroom use like a soap thingy or a large bath towel

5t3ff1k4h 44

Wednesday 19 January 2011 16:36

Because she respects what's in her boyfriend's house and doesn't want to wipe her shit on a large, fluffy towel.

hollee 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 17:11

you read that wrong.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Wednesday 19 January 2011 17:18

Indeed I did. Well, I wouldn't want spider's guts all over my towel, and I wouldn't want to put that on my boyfriend's towel either.

catatonicsleep 17

Wednesday 19 January 2011 18:40

Towels can be washed...

fthku 13

Wednesday 19 January 2011 18:51

@50 Seeing as OP didn't realise that the toilet paper would run out, it makes more sense to grab some toilet paper rather than use a towel and dirty it. Also some bathrooms are just toilets, no sink or shower ergo no towels. What I don't get is how she didn't realise it would run out, or why she had to use that much toilet paper.