Intimacy: Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to...

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 582

You deserved it 5 698

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Same thing different taste

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 767

You deserved it 4 762

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 643

You deserved it 29 338

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 855

You deserved it 8 325

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 356

You deserved it 7 464

By dom - 08/09/2010 06:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 311

You deserved it 33 837

By anonymous - 04/11/2014 12:03 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 229

You deserved it 8 479

By Anonymous - 12/02/2012 04:52 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 195

You deserved it 8 471

Say yes

By fuckingdonuts - 18/05/2015 02:54 - United States - Edmond

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 057

You deserved it 5 181

By Porkchop05 - 06/09/2009 05:44 - Canada

Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 981

You deserved it 14 728

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 378

You deserved it 4 983

CitizenSnipz 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 23:48

Both of you were eating a delicious snack filled with cream. He was just seeing how it was for you!

doctorr_fml 9

Thursday 14 January 2010 23:44

that blows

Comments

gobbledegook 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 23:53

lol

Ilovelife07 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 23:55

did you continue to get your own cream filling?

Dawkrida 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 23:56

hahahahahahahaha classic

douchbaggins 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 23:57

Oh man! I wish I was your boyfriend at that moment...............I love twinkies.

NIRVANAfan123 0

Friday 15 January 2010 0:00

Might this twinkie be another mans dick?

fmlsoobad 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 6:05

u made my day

vanilla2u 5

Friday 7 January 2011 5:56

my name is actually nirvana!

shugacane 0

Friday 15 January 2010 0:00

LOL; guess your heading skills aren't so good

srd3 0

Friday 15 January 2010 0:00

would be better with cod

perdix 29

Friday 15 January 2010 0:03

I'd be a little concerned. Panic if he starts to teabag himself with those big pink Sno-Balls when you are sucking his happy sacks.

musicislife11 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 2:29

Douchebag calling them "happy sacks"

Laxloverr24 0

Friday 15 January 2010 0:05

Don't blame the power of the Twinkie.

silverstein 0

Friday 15 January 2010 0:05

You can give me head I don't like twinkies >:)

derangedplanet 23

Tuesday 1 September 2015 17:04

I laughed a little too hard at this. I feel awful for laughing, and you're the one who wrote it.

Keywords

Plumbing Awkward Money Insurance Relationship advice Love Cheating Suspicious Relatable AITA Weird First Dates Marriage Gross Health Poopoo peepee Mental health Cars Death Family Parenting Kids Miscellaneous Transportation Capitalism My ex Social Media Friends Instagram Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I found an old Bible in a box of my boyfriend's stuff. I despise religion, so I threw it away. He freaked out when he found out, screaming that it was a "family heirloom". I don't care if vile, hateful trash is an heirloom or not, I'm going to get rid of it. Deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 2 065

Today, my husband wants a divorce and will be moving out as soon as possible because he can’t stand my mother anymore. He's tired of pushing me to stand up to her, even once, so he's done and is leaving. I’m upset he’s leaving, but I’m equally as upset he’s leaving me alone with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 1 440

The Top

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 896

You deserved it 3 553

Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 513

You deserved it 11 247

Today, I discovered a nail in the tire of my car and a nice sized crack on the screen of my phone. I didn't think the day could get worse, until on my way to fix my tire, the cherry of my cigarette fell off and burned a huge hole in my driver's seat. This was my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 1 349

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 777

You deserved it 55 654

Today, my 4-year-old brother has a very strict 8:30 PM bedtime. Since I would have to walk past his door to get to the rest of the house, I'm not allowed to leave my room past that time, lest I tempt him to get up too. I can't even go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 562

You deserved it 1 659

Today, after a very long and stressful day at school, I had to go to work right after. There's no better way to start my shift than getting screamed at by a Karen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 116

Same thing different taste

Dirty talk

Ouch

Say yes

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