By sniperkit - 26/02/2013 00:44 - United States - Traverse City

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 842
You deserved it 2 643

sniperkit tells us more.

sniperkit 10

Thank you for the ever-wise insight, 64, as your input is always appreciated and never ******* annoying due to your Captain Obvious-esque remarks. She is indeed moving out, by the way.

Top comments

SApprentice 34

You supplied food, thereby raising your status in the pack. Feeling threatened, your alpha roommate has merely expressed her wish to reacertain her dominance by marking her territory- which includes you and all of your possessions. I suggest you puff yourself up as much as possible and maintain silent, steady eye contact with her. She may be stronger than you now, but if you seem threatening enough she won't want to fight you. Then, and only then, will you be able to live peacefully beside her within the confines of your lands.

Comments

Maybe you are a bad roommate? Try to reason it out with her after she calms down. You don't deserve this kind of treatment.

sniperkit 10

Can I just kick her out of my apartment instead?

“I'm going to pee on everything you love" is definitely adding to the list of shit I say. hahaha so ******* weird

oj101 33

I re-read the FML, and I saw generous as nervous the second time. Is there something you're not telling us, especially "your history?"

I wonder if someone told her a lie about you to get her pissed off that bad It has happened

RougeRamirez 8

Hide the apple juice.. Just in case

Tell her to have a snickers bar, because she gets territorial when she's hungry.

lishajoy777 14

"Considering our history..." If she's done this type of thing before, why would you even bother cooking her meals? o.O

sniperkit 10

Because I try to make up with people and give them a second chance if they mess up; in her case, because she was my friend, she got a few extra chances after she acted batshit insane.

That's why you don't live with female dogs, for no reason they start acting like bitches ..... literally

I'm sorry, but thumbing up your own comment won't save you this time. Literally.

You're right, it didn't save from a stupid reply like yours, maybe next time instead of channeling your accumulated frustration and anger towards someone you should give originality a chance and actually try to make a comment. Give love a chance 'cause this is making you look bad. Xoxoxoxo

It was funny until you added "literally" to the end. Don't explain the joke, kid.

How cute, you think your comment was intelligent!