Intimacy: Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall...

By Anonymous - 25/04/2013 15:10 - Canada - Midland

Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 952

You deserved it 15 329

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Is this catfishing?

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 187

Nature calls

By Anonymous - 27/03/2023 14:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was on a first date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice at first, but as we were walking he suddenly stopped and said, "I have to pee." He walked over to urinate on a nearby tree while I awkwardly stood there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 12/03/2015 03:19 - United States - Watertown

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 650

You deserved it 2 907

By great. - 02/01/2013 18:59

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 965

You deserved it 3 556

First Dates

By Anonymous - 06/06/2014 22:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 415

You deserved it 10 168

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By anonymous - 06/09/2010 07:37 - United States

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I'd met on Facebook, we went back to his apartment. All was going good, until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 758

You deserved it 19 870

By ninja_blasphemer - 25/07/2011 19:24 - Ireland

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 063

You deserved it 7 783

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 926

You deserved it 2 626

By Jaime - 31/03/2014 22:05 - United States - New York

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 376

You deserved it 6 815

By notnerb - 19/05/2009 10:13 - New Zealand

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 878

You deserved it 8 579

DocBastard 38

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:07

You just have to understand Internet dating lingo. "Tall handsome man" means "short ugly freak". "Hot blonde" means at least 350 pounds. And when they actually admit to being freaky, run.

lhazz11 23

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:08

Sounds like he wouldn't need to worry about the condoms, he isn't getting laid anyways.

Comments

\ 28

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:16

Sounds like you've dated a Vulcan with urolagnia and a strong distaste for safe sex.

perdix 29

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:17

I don't see where his claims conflict with the new facts you learned about him. A tall, handsome business man may easily enjoy being peed on than a short, ugly unemployed person of indeterminate gender. The "not having emotions" part is certain to be an asset in business!

zaylazayn 12

Thursday 25 April 2013 21:27

It's true!

boredguyyy 10

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:18

Like David Chapelle once said: I wanne pee on you! Drip drip drip..

KCLASSEH 8

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:21

Sounds like my bf only he's not a businessman

kathbutter 12

Thursday 25 April 2013 23:42

your boyfriend sounds charming

_DudeGuy_ 16

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:22

Op, urine luck! Peeing on someone is the best way to get in the mood!

_DudeGuy_ 16

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:24

Shit! I made a "Urine luck" pun down below before reading this!

then000bster 16

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:25

Hey! He is a business man, at least he isn't piss poor like the rest of us.

alycion 38

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:26

Even prostitutes would run from this guy. The scary thing is, if you subscribe to the theory there is someone for everyone, some girl is going to be into this. Hope he finds her soon to get him out of the dating pool.

TheCutestLizard 28

Thursday 25 April 2013 20:28

Are you a prostitute?

Rababco 29

Thursday 13 February 2014 17:11

@26 It's a win-win, he gets the girl of his dreams and no one else makes the same mistake that OP did.

karlcolt45 19

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:28

well of course he doesn't do condoms! where would more weirdos come from if he did? plus it would fill up with the pee...uncomfortable amount of warmth