Kids: Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted...

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 00:46 - United States - Kerman

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 281

You deserved it 7 304

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Same thing different taste

By squeltorey - 03/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Whittier

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 817

You deserved it 11 163

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 263

You deserved it 476

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 572

You deserved it 4 369

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 20:51 - United States

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 087

You deserved it 4 024

Overreaction

By sadie - 01/04/2021 23:00

Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 62

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 952

You deserved it 7 429

By downlowtooslow - 12/06/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 651

You deserved it 6 863

By stargirl - 19/07/2011 00:36 - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 293

You deserved it 13 137

Shouldn't have worn a thong...

By Shouldn'taWornaThong - 10/02/2018 07:00 - United States - Tempe

Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 619

You deserved it 303

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 561

You deserved it 41 806

FindingYujin 26

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:02

Do you have a cat? Haha. I can only imagine your son learning it from that.

Crystal55621 19

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:03

What an interesting way to clean up. At least he's getting his calcium....though that is very unsanitary.

Comments

DenBriZel 31

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:11

Copying from an animal maybe? At least he tried to clean up! (:

CoffeeChickBlows 13

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:18

No, he copied it from a desk lamp. *rolls eyes*

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Sunday 4 August 2013 13:00

When I spill coffee on my desk, the lamp always mops it up. Or I threaten to punch his lights out.

feelingold 18

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:21

Here's a thought...care less about your embarrassmemt / the stares of random strangers who don't matter, care more about the shit your son licks off floors.

Uramonkey 11

Sunday 4 August 2013 17:14

OP should also care about the fact of why the milk carton was already open... While they were still in the store!

graceinsheepwear 33

Sunday 4 August 2013 17:41

It broke open, 40.

svalaedgren 18

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:22

Stuff like that happens, no need to be embarrassed and I'm sure your son was just trying to make things right by licking the milk.

bob226 7

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:30

mooooooooo

shutupmichaela 18

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:43

Well, no use crying over it

michelleJ11 25

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:43

No need to be embarrassed OP, kids will be kids. :) & ignore the stares, people will always judge you for the stupidest reasons.

SillyGirl4602 23

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:55

Little kids can be very embarrassing at times. There is no need to stress over it. The people staring at you do not matter. Just try to teach your kid that he should not be licking things off the floors.