Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while...

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 548

You deserved it 7 942

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By embarassed - 21/04/2011 03:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 12 936

By kingkobrastrikes - 21/01/2015 01:56 - United States

Today, I was asleep and snored so loud that I woke myself up. I was at work and I am now the laughing stock of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 516

You deserved it 20 530

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 383

By pootie - 11/12/2013 13:14 - United States - Miami

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 576

You deserved it 7 559

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 547

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 801

You deserved it 35 996

By Anonymous - 24/11/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 668

You deserved it 29 286

Threat Neutralized

By Anonymous - 23/07/2018 18:36 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 307

You deserved it 728

By sleeper - 02/03/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 304

You deserved it 6 067

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 583

You deserved it 4 007

catatonicsleep 17

Tuesday 11 August 2009 12:12

My dog does that, it's funny..

maybe_tomorrow 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 12:13

Nothing like a loud PARP to wake you from your slumber xD

Comments

Action_Batch 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 13:28

More like copied from Good Will Hunting. Still hilarious. I bet all four of your cheeks were red.

PokeyStix 3

Tuesday 11 August 2009 18:18

LOL

nigguhplease 1

Monday 8 November 2010 6:46

ha ha. nice. I like.

sbstar2017 8

Saturday 22 December 2012 23:07

Best. Movie. Ever

seroose 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 13:40

10-4 Evan... you wish you were that cool!!

aback 4

Tuesday 11 August 2009 13:56

Remember that for when you're tempted to doze off during business meetings.

stfunubcake 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 14:23

copied from family guy wow

hippityhopp 2

Tuesday 6 September 2011 21:11

Just because something happened in a show does not mean that it cannot happen in real life.

bornkiller66 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:01

lol I have the same problem!!! except that I hump the pillow while I'm sleeping....which is worse!!!

shostakovich 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:02

loltastic!

plexico 3

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:07

The jokes on them -- it was really a SHART.

trulyinsane 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:18

was someone digging here? the sand is starting to turn brown!

Shyman4ever 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:21

Lmfao this FML is epic

andlifesuxagain 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:47

Way to go Jupiter

Hahawowurlifesux 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:56

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha rofl this just totally made my day! I added this to my favs =)

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 965

You deserved it 931

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 183

You deserved it 47 586

The Top

Today, at my sister's wedding, I got my 15 month-old son to 'sign' the big guest book. I gave him a pen and was hoping for a cute little squiggle or something. But no, he managed to draw something that looked uncannily like a big swastika. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 014

You deserved it 13 749

Today, after reading and listening to stories about cheating and failed relationships, I realized that my infatuation for a coworker has begun to dwindle. I don't think I'm psychologically strong enough to recover a failed relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 255

Today, my grandma and I were watching the Ranger's playoff game. As Henrik Lundqvist received a standing ovation from the crowd after blocking 38 shots, she says to me, "Check out his equipment!" My 80-year old grandma just commented on Henrik Lundqvist's package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 257

You deserved it 4 962

Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 299

Today, I took a bus to the city. When I sat down, my hand accidentally slapped again the knee of the guy sitting next to me. I apologized. He responded, "It's just a knee," and started stroking mine. This lasted the entire ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 141

You deserved it 2 437

Today, I paid $800.00 towards my student loans. That was the minimum payment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 417

Same thing different taste

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

Threat Neutralized

Alarm

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