By Dimples - 03/01/2013 11:35 - United States - Sanford

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 480
You deserved it 3 438

Same thing different taste

Top comments

perdix 29

You could have put a dimple in tree, then there would be two in a million.

If you're one a million, there are six thousand like you

Comments

I would have slapped him for touching my face. Just saying.

Yeah, it would have just been my Natural response. Probably punch to face then knee to his nuts though.

Then pull out my baseball bat beat him till he's unconscious, take off his clothes, put him in the boot of my car and drive to an empty field, leaving him there naked. That would be MY natural response.

34.... and then kill him, cremate him, build a rocket and launch his ashes into space. I mean, it's just the normal response, ya know.

34- would you like to be my bodyguard against old perverts?

It was rather creepy of him to do this, but OP did mention the he was old. He could have been senile, or developing Alzheimer's. So becoming violent towards him would be a cruel idea. I think that OPs point of frustration was the teasing they got from their friends about it.

He was elderly and probably senile. Keep that in mind!

i wish this happened to one of my friends, you will never live this down. Just enjoy the laughs.

And you didn't stop the guy while he was fondling your face? He sounds like the gypsy geezer in "Thinner". Your friends, however, need to knock it off.

The end of Thinner was really creepy, but then again, most of Stephen Kings books are like that

One thing I remember about the movie "Thinner" is-- guys will still want their girlfriends to give them head while they're driving their cars. Fear of gypsy curses do not apply.

zombieslayer83 19

Man, I can't wait to get old. So I can do anything I want and get away with it.

Yea, harassment isn't ok no matter how old you are

perdix 29

#21, #20 is right. It's not OK to harass someone when you are old, but instead of being mad, they feel sorry for you. I grab girls' asses all the time and when they yell at me, I start crying and say, "Isn't that you, Ethel?" and tell them about my dead wife. Then, they start crying and let me feel their ****. It's great to be old!!!

What a brilliante idea ! I'm going to start dressing up like an old woman, and grab some ass.

perdix 29

#29, make sure your "dead husband" has an old man name like Egbert. If you use a modern hipster name like Dylan, you'll get slapped.

#36--Unless she married a MUCH younger man. :)

No, I like my men old and rich. #36, I will call him maurice, such a sexy dead husband name !

perdix 29

#40, don't forget his other names, "Space Cowboy" and "Gangster of Love." That'll show 'em you're really old.

I shan't, don't worry. And thank-you for your help in my bottom fondling mission.

Did he sound like Herbert...did he have the gimpy dog too?

theheh 4

It's funny! They are picking! Grow a pair and laugh about it. Now the old man part is creepy...

RetardedPotato 6

...She almost wrecked her car. I'd be complaining, too, but I'm a potato and I can't drive.

never let a stranger touch your face... In public

KiddNYC1O 20

Public, no public, any public...