Intimacy: Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of...

By Anonymous - 03/05/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307 127

You deserved it 20 866

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By bubbalicious - 13/08/2009 20:57 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 707

You deserved it 86 994

Freakout

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 22:03 - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 316

You deserved it 4 313

Oh, hi Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2012 05:46 - United States - Olympia

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 029

You deserved it 3 918

Disrespectful

By awskme - 09/01/2010 00:36 - France

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 845

You deserved it 29 076

Oh no…

By Oh... - 26/07/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 824

You deserved it 254

By FullMonty - 15/09/2012 23:26 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 057

You deserved it 3 976

By scot - 02/09/2012 15:38 - United States - Granby

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 264

You deserved it 13 978

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 997

You deserved it 8 962

Help!

By Anonymous - 27/12/2011 17:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 024

You deserved it 3 147

By Ribbed for Her Disaster - 04/04/2013 16:04 - United Kingdom - Orpington

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 426

You deserved it 19 445

YOUNGSMUTTY 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:08

That's sad. I hope your grandma's alright! You're such a sweet boy for going home to help her. I'll take your virginity ;) Haha jk.

shortandloud 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:09

That sucks about not getting sex but I have to say that the whole getting stuck between the bowl and the wall is pretty hilarious.

Comments

rmm 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:26

Dammit, I double clicked by accident so it said I put YDI as well as FYL, but you definitely didn't deserve it Hahahaha, it made me laugh though :') But come on... 2 years without sex? Well, I guess you could be like... 15

pyrohazard96 0

Friday 3 August 2012 8:13

Not even fifteen lol!!! I would guess well... The way generations get worse and worse maybe the same age as his sister lol

Go_Home 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:31

Seems like a major sign to me.

Leptailurus 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:32

Dude, that sucks! But uh... there's always tomorrow, eh? ;)

izzyyy 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:32

Awh, fyl but bless your wittle heart. C:

Bitts 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:33

Today, I embarrassingly got stuck between the toilet bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. I called my grandson to help me out, but he didn't come because he would rather be ******* his girlfriend. I was stuck until the paramedics came. FML

aaa999 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:33

talk about signs lool. that's God telling you "take a hint" but seriously i hope your grandma is ok.

BlackxFire 0

Friday 17 December 2010 16:56

don't bring religion into this. it'll only get worse

ShadowlessSpear 21

Friday 17 October 2014 1:41

Religion is okay as long it's a joke :)

CheezerX 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:34

haha should been "give me 5 minutes" first tiem would of been a quickie

matega 18

Thursday 25 April 2013 17:15

A quickie for the first time? What's wrong with you?

I_Bite 22

Monday 3 August 2015 14:44

Maybe not 5 minutes but it would have been quick. Most men don't last that long their first time and if it was her first time too she may not either (from the pain) Though I think he did the right thing by leaving to help his grandmother. They've been together a long time and they're both ready, she'll understand, there are other opportunities