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FML - The follow-up

Today, I tutored a third grade girl after school. She was squirming so much I thought she had to go to the bathroom. Turns out, she was just masturbating on the corner of a school chair. FML

Katie1921 Say more :
Hi guys- OP here! To answer a few questions and concerns people have said- 1. I did not tell the girl's parents - I do not have a close relationship with them other than a few "hi"s and talking about the girl's homework, also I am a high school student myself and I do not know how to handle that situation at all 2. I knew she was masturbating because she stuck her hands down her pants a few times anddd... I'm not gonna go into details, but it was pretty obvious
By Katie1921 - / Tuesday 9 February 2016 02:52 / United States - New York
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By  Toksik_Kid  |  14

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  WhoopteDo  |  26

Or it was just something that happened? I'd be -shocked- if she was doing it intentionally, when something feels good and you're eight years old, you keep doing it. It's not like she knew she was masturbating or doing anything sexual as far as we know, to assume as much is just ignorant.

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  Rawrshi  |  24

There is nothing disturbing about it when you realize it isn't sexual. Ask her to stop squirming and move on with the lesson - no big deal. Humans start to masturbate sometimes as early as in the womb, so an 8 year old isn't surprising at all. Just have to explain to them that it's inappropriate to do so around other people. It's not sexual to them so they don't realize that it's not appropriate to do in public unless told. To them it just feels nice and is no different than any other action such as scratching at an itch or stretching. Now if it was a high schooler or someone else old enough to know better, that would be actually disturbing.

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  TheNewGuy03  |  26

As crazy as it might look to grown men and women, it is, in fact, pretty normal for kids to just act on things they think feels good. In fact, when I was a kid, I distinctly remember being in a pool fooling around like everyone normally does, but I accidentally stepped in front of one of the water spouts, which was right on my cock. It felt extremely pleasurable, and I didn't know why, but I just stayed there and enjoyed it. It's one of those things that require education, not shaming. More than likely, they don't know that is associated with sex. I personally wish I had that education when I was smaller instead of being ridiculed about everything based on religion. In fact, this lack of education can create some truly sick individuals.

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  ChiefKoala  |  29

Actually I did something similar. I was young, and would fool around with a massager and one day I discovered that if I put in the right position it felt really good after a while .I didn't know what it was at all but I knew it felt good. So hopefully she didn't understand what was going on, but i truly believe that we REALLY need better sex education and that if it's not taught it could create sick people like you said.

By  Toksik_Kid  |  14

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  momo3p  |  22

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  VagueEel  |  13

these comments bother me. stuff like this has always happened we just didn't have things like the internet to share it. the kid might not have even known what she was doing, just that it felt good.

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  angelnursery  |  18

Stuff like this happens in every generation, it's just something little kids do. They don't know it's masturbating, they just think it's something that feels good. Is it super awkward and really gross to have to stumble on it? Of course, but it isn't something that's "wrong" with this generation.

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  chinaski7628  |  32

Not a generational thing at all, #2, but rather a normal part of child development. I'm glad most commenters on here seem to be educated about child development instead of freaked out by a common human behavior.

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  pandalover69  |  26

Honestly this is nothing new. It's actually pretty normal. There's even a comedian that has a chapter in one of her books about doing this when she was also in 3rd grade. That was in the early 80s. Kids don't know what they're doing is sexual, they just know it feels good.

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  Dave_Davington  |  23

Not only is kids trying to rub one out not even remotely unique to this generation, but it would also seem that hysterical moral panic over nothing isn't unique to older folks either. Truly, there are far fewer differences between generations than people seem to think.

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  tygerarmy  |  35

I started getting boners in 4th grade. I didn't figure out what to do with them for a while after. This has always happened. The only problem is people over reacting.

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  Isa_fml  |  18

Nothing, fucknuts. It's always happened and it's totally normal.

By  jansdrs  |  19

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  mwali02  |  32

I think that there is validity in this comment. I would consider telling the parents, NOT to propagate the cycle of shame, guilt, and fear, but to make sure that the parents are aware that now is a good time to start the discussion about healthy sexuality. They could start talking about when and where is (or is not) a good time to self pleasure, who it is not safe to let touch certain places, and letting their daughter know that it is good and important to talk to them if she has questions, worries, or any concerns. Provided that OP is under the understanding that the child's parents are safe and responsible parents, this is how the cycle of communication goes. Unless you guys are all okay with following the parents original plan about talking about sex at 16, it clearly won't work. My parents decided to skip that all together. Not helpful. We think that 8 is young, but at 8 years old, she may already have been molested or be victim other sexual abuse. She could even be experiencing something else that no one will no about unless we ask her. Not only that, but she has seen TV, who knows what she's seen on the Internet, or even on the bus heading to school and back. Peers and older kids talk. Adults need to more more responsible and need to be proactive. We need to make the most of right now. I think that it makes more sense to introduce the subject with relevant pieces at a time, and this sure is a timely time to start talking to their daughter. If the parents are not safe to talk to, consider speaking to the school counsellor or the school nurse. There are options other than silence, just in case. Best of luck with however you proceed OP!

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  chinaski7628  |  32

If OP is a tutor, especially if she is still in school herself, it isn't really her place to talk to the parents. Not only would that be awkward for OP, but OP may not know how to properly bring this up or discuss it with the parents. If anything, OP is better off telling her supervisor or the child's teacher and allowing that person to handle it. Also, you bring up many good points about age and developmentally appropriate sex education (which parents should teach their children), but it is important to remember that masturbation is very common in children and it does it necessarily indicate the child has been abused or even seen sex on tv or in movies. As long is the child is not hurting themselves or others (or displaying aggressive or advanced sexual knowledge, which can be an indicator of abuse), there is really nothing to worry about. A conversation about "private time" should be all that's necessary.

By  Feklfekl2222  |  32

It's quite common among little kids to rub their selves off things that feel good, but obviously they don't realise what that's considered to older people. The best thing to do is ask her not to squirm and don't really broach why. It's awkward, but not the end of the world

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  WhoopteDo  |  26

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  Feklfekl2222  |  32

It's an eight year old, if they're wearing short shorts no one should care, they're shorts! They're meant to be short. If you consider an eight year old sexual because you see thigh you are the problem

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  Rawrshi  |  24

#18 - While not really appropriate for anyone to wear shorts short enough to see their labia in most places, I would imagine an 8 year old would have underwear on so you likely wouldn't see anything. Regardless, they're a child and much too young to sexualize even if they are completely naked. So it doesn't actually matter what they're wearing or what part of their body it shows. They're still a child and there is absolutely nothing sexual about them.

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  disneyfreak  |  10

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  WhoopteDo  |  26

Yeah, you're right about that. The short shorts came from a time when I was visiting my cousin who teaches elementary school and she was dealing with a girl wearing a shirt that said Bitch across the front and Ass on her shorts. After all I'm sure they're in some cases more comfortable.

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69, I hope you never have kids because they'll be so fucked in the head it's not even funny. You know even a fetus in the womb will masturbate? There is nothing gross or abnormal about this, no matter what the age. She was rubbing herself on something because it felt good. Yes, she needs to be told that this is a private thing but, in no way does that indicate abuse. Please people, don't teach your kids to be ashamed of their bodies and their needs. All it does is create a complex of feeling guilty for something you can't help. Leads to a whole bunch of mental health issues.

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  Xamry14  |  10

Please don't have kids. You obviously have no idea what is normal and what's not and it is your type that fucks kids up. You think puberty magically turns on all the nerve endings in those areas all at once? No. They are there and developed since they were born. If they are working right, it's going to feel good. The only thing puberty does is get those hormone producing parts into gear and produce strong urges. A kid won't have those but those areas will be sensitive.

By  TeddW  |  16

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  chinaski7628  |  32

It has been shown that children masturbate in the womb. It's perfectly normal child development. I've been a teacher for over 15 years. This is something little kids do—they don't understand boundaries/private time, and they don't know what they're doing, just that it feels good.

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  silmisstar  |  23

I started kinda late but this doesn't surprise me at all. Kids explore their bodies, and they are allowed to do that. The problem is the stigma around girls touching themselves. Little boys start touching themselves pretty early and everyone knows because they talk about it later in life. Guess what, girls do too, we just don't talk about it because it's been seen as a "bad" thing to do.

By  blink831forever  |  11

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By  mercyelvira42  |  22

There was a girl I went to school with who shall remain nameless who would do this every class in 5th grade. I feel like I was the only person who knew what she was doing.

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