Miscellaneous: Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended...

By BackToRehab - 26/02/2011 21:53 - Canada

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 074

You deserved it 3 556

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Same thing different taste

It's just liquid fun

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 05:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 026

You deserved it 3 021

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 3 206

By anonymous - 07/02/2012 09:27 - United States

Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 285

You deserved it 2 343

Slippery slope

By ur_life_dus_suck - 21/01/2016 13:08 - United States - Wayne

Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 251

You deserved it 1 698

By geeb - 23/02/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 592

You deserved it 36 493

Boozehound

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 857

You deserved it 2 991

By heya - 24/12/2012 10:09 - Australia - Sydney

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 418

You deserved it 2 547

By anonymous - 24/10/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 633

You deserved it 4 075

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 14:04 - United States

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 700

You deserved it 6 423

By the only sober one - 15/05/2013 06:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 923

You deserved it 2 803

Privations_fml 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 23:57

Someone's been drinking a bit too much butterbeer.

afdude87 6

Saturday 26 February 2011 23:58

muggles: they're everywhere, tryin to steal my whiskey.

Comments

SarahStarzz 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 0:17

wow such a great mom

BestthangsmokiN 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 0:42

You still treated her to lunch after the movie stunt? I would've made drunky walk home hungry!

Sargasm 4

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:10

What's truly weird is that they had just watched "The King's Speech".

chwder912 3

Sunday 27 February 2011 7:56

how would you know?

neondeath 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:12

why would u what to watch JB any other way besides sober cuz if ur drunk u can't remember the awesomeness of JB

skittlez12345678_fml 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:28

u like jb wiw u must b gay.

sweet_candy_ 17

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:31

What a crazy lady.

deputy_g 5

Sunday 27 February 2011 4:37

omg this so couldve been prevented it's the OP's fault and just throw a pie in her face

gooBUZZ 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:37

Can anyone else see the two "of" before the AA?

jrsgreenfire257 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 1:38

Damb canadians…

chwder912 3

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:00

hahahaha... harry potter

bando2792 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:13

Better than calling them all mudbloods!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect." I need this class to graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 980

You deserved it 2 748

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 904

You deserved it 74 239

The Top

Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glance over and see my brother's hot friend who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then hear my mom say "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 610

You deserved it 5 100

Today, I accidentally deleted an audio file for my first professional video project. Impossible to do a retake, because the production budget was so tight. The audio from the camera sounds bad and file recovery program still can't help. Also, the deadline is this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 558

Today, I blanked and forgot to take out my piercing before going for my MRI, even though the nurses asked me multiple times to make sure I had no metal on me before entering, you know, the big machine made of massive electromagnets. The piercing was on my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 1 656

Today, my mother told me to my face that if she could do it all over again, she wouldn't have had kids. Thanks, Mum. It's not like I asked to be born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 105

Today my neighbor's asked me to feed their two horses while they go on vacation for a month. I happily agreed. As they were getting in the car to drive off, they added, "Oh, and water the plants!" They have six acres. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 470

You deserved it 1 232

Today, my very financially stable grandparents bought my girlfriend and I two first class tickets on Air Emirates, which to me is a once in a lifetime opportunity. To my dismay, my colon did not approve of the peanuts and I spent the whole flight shitting out what seemed to be molten rocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 190

Same thing different taste

It's just liquid fun

Slippery slope

Boozehound

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