Kids: Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital....

By mickey1928 - 12/01/2010 13:10

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 960

You deserved it 2 896

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By notpreggo - 01/05/2017 12:00

Today, I was taking my 3-month-old nephew for a walk in his stroller, when a lady stopped me to coo over him. Then she patted my stomach and said, "Don't worry, you'll lose the baby weight soon". I've never had a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 993

You deserved it 698

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 17:30 - United States

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 479

You deserved it 10 355

By Lennyr - 28/08/2016 06:36 - United States - Union City

Today, I gave birth to my first born child. Somehow, my mom and mother in law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother in law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 541

You deserved it 1 094

By SocietyToday - 27/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was grocery shopping with my older sister. An elderly couple passed, and the man pointed to my sister, saying, "She LOVES to eat." My sister is 7 months pregnant, and I had to spend the next hour comforting her as she bawled her eyes out because of an off-hand comment from a stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 090

You deserved it 299

Comedic timing

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 16:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 172

By me - 06/05/2013 00:56 - United States - Floresville

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 555

You deserved it 6 955

You have been warned

By anne - 17/06/2017 22:00

Today, I happily told my husband I'm pregnant. He happily informed me that very, VERY large babies run in his family, and even though he was born 3 weeks early, he still weighed 15 lbs. The smallest baby to ever be born into his family was his great grandmother, who was 12 lbs. OH GOD, THE PAIN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 257

You deserved it 805

By Pudgymom - 21/10/2016 02:08

Today, I ran into an old friend at the store with my infant daughter. As we caught up, she assured me that I could get rid of all my baby weight from the pregnancy. If only I had actually been pregnant. My wife carried her and looks fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 420

You deserved it 1 731

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 250

You deserved it 3 525

By kimm1993 - 03/08/2013 04:29 - United States - Chicago

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 689

You deserved it 8 459

RobotSox 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:06

You should of replied "Look, its those wrinkled prunes that go around insulting newborn babies". That'll teach them ;DD

idkweird 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:05

How is this an FML? The chubby babies are usually the cutest and the healthiest. Fat babies are the best.

Comments

simawesome_FYL 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:20

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Sammara 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:25

She just had a baby. When you've just had a baby, your hormones are going crazy, you're physically and emotionally exhausted, and you cry at just about anything. Any mother would be upset if someone called her child fat, but a newborn mother is more likely to cry at far lesser things than that. Thats "wt'f is up" with his wife.

meheeeen 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 5:20

It's the largest shift in hormones possible in a woman's life! Of course she's gonna be a little bit loopy for a week or so. It's not postpartum depression for being hormonal for a week or so, postpartum depression is when it continues for months and months and the mother cannot enjoy her baby at all.

Sammara 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:22

Ugh. I work at a place where most of our customers are elderly, and they are SO rude. I can let it go for the ones who are clearly losing their marbles, but most of them feel they can say whatever they want because they're old and entitled. Even if your baby WASN'T below average, there is no such thing as a fat NEWBORN. You shoulda socked them in the face.

me5 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:25

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

imlifeless2 25

Wednesday 28 August 2013 6:23

you actually can't rest your case on a question like that...

kaiCG 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:25

6.5 seems pretty average (if not small) size, besides it doesn't mean the kid is gonna grow up fat. My siblings and I were all at least 8 lbs when we were born and we're tiny lol. And to the people who are saying stuff about his wife, she just went through childbirth I think she's allowed to be emotional.

Meggehx 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:29

You and your wife both know she's absolutely gorgeous. Old people are assholes and feel like they can say anything without repercussions because they're elderly. Next time a bitchy old person gets fresh with you, just stomp on their feet and say "Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't see you there, what with your bloated opinion in the way."

Starfire22 5

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:31

The babies that are really thin make me sad... they look wierd and malnorished...

E40_fml 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:31

Lolz #7 a "long baby".

McKay_fml 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:45

6.5lbs is a normal if not on the small side baby (like #19 said). I personally was 7.11lbs when I was born and I've seen pictures. I was not a big baby. Maybe I was a "long baby" like #7 said though XD lol

NotEven 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 21:01

#22 & 24 A "long" baby is actually the correct way to say it. Babies are measured by length rather than height, since they can't stand up. :)

Lenicka 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:32

Sure it is but long baby sounds king of cute...like long vehicle :-)

kkaspar 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:46

our son looked twice the size of all the kids in the nursery when he was born. He was 8lb 11oz. 21 and a half inches long. We thought our 2nd child at 6lb 7oz was tiny! Old people are assholes. Tell your wife having a fat baby is good. Its healthy! Alot better than having a failure to thrive baby.