Intimacy: Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant...

By Matt - 29/08/2010 04:53 - Canada

Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 784

You deserved it 5 036

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Same thing different taste

By padthaimeanoose - 19/07/2015 03:29 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 929

You deserved it 2 456

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 271

You deserved it 296

Guts of steel

By Anonymous - 25/07/2023 12:00

Today, my husband and I shared a chinese prawn dinner. I now have the most violent shits I’ve ever experienced in my life. He is completely fine and keeps rubbing it in my face by being able to eat his meals without throwing them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 125

Sounds like a win, somehow

By George - 17/09/2023 14:00

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to shrimp, when I went out for a lunch with my long-term crush after I finally got the courage to ask her out. She's really into seafood. A little while into the afternoon I started to feel itchy. She ended up scratching my back all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 109

By rindawg - 20/01/2009 03:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 097

You deserved it 7 128

By amilia - 07/11/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 353

You deserved it 331

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 197

First date going well

By johnfrank - 26/03/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 064

You deserved it 35 626

By not even getting any of her shrimp - 11/02/2014 21:50 - United States - Draper

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 657

You deserved it 6 517

Gutted

By G…… - 28/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try a new "exotic" restaurant that just recently opened. I paid almost a hundred bucks for a bowl of oily meat sludge and a bunch of mushy vegetables, then got to shit my brains out all night. Exotic my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 126

mitchn60 6

Sunday 29 August 2010 12:06

I took my date to a seafood restaurant once, also, but there was a fight. Yeah, some fish got battered.

Coccinelle_fml 15

Sunday 29 August 2010 12:20

Did she go to the bathroom before having diarrhea or were you guys still in bed when that happened?

Comments

JessAmmyy_ 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 12:46

and THAT is whyy i dont eat seafood, ydi maateee.

FYLDeep 25

Sunday 29 August 2010 12:52

AW YOU JUST GOT PraWND!!!1!!11!1!1!!11

Senseless_487 29

Sunday 29 August 2010 15:45

Win!!!

Jamesssy 0

Monday 30 August 2010 1:21

hahaha yesss!

JessAmmyy_ 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 12:59

u should still have sexx, just not anaal.

locs376 2

Sunday 29 August 2010 13:00

consider it lube ang go for the glory hole!

FMLsohardithurts 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 13:20

GO prawns .... better than your god damn cousin shrimp.....

Mikehawk182 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 13:25

**** blocked by mudbutt!..

hoghunter 1

Sunday 29 August 2010 13:47

damn.... delay effect **** blocked by a sushi chef......there truely is a first time for everything.

sammccormick 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 14:06

you shoulda kept going, extra lube anyone?

I_have_no_clue 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 14:40

FYL indeed.

CireSisselpud 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 15:01

I hope u didn't try anal

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Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 450

You deserved it 3 567

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 11 478

You deserved it 23 480

Today, just like when I interviewed for the job, I know nothing about graphic design and I'm not interested in sales. I've just found out that my "project management" job I was hired for now has the job title "Graphic Sales." They changed it after I started 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 302

You deserved it 387

Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 977

You deserved it 2 338

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 109

You deserved it 3 058

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 089

You deserved it 50 284

Today, after leaving a bar I fell asleep on the Q train heading home. I awoke at 5am in Coney Island, end of the line, to a cop poking me with his baton. He gave me a ticket for "Subway Vagrancy" even though I have a job and an apartment. He didn't ticket the homeless man next to me covered in piss. FML

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You deserved it 7 765