Health: Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left...

By POLYBLOT - 30/06/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 952

You deserved it 56 087

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Same thing different taste

Shit eating grin

By lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 403

You deserved it 22 003

By nick - 12/05/2010 09:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 267

You deserved it 5 989

By stickyandwet - 30/01/2017 23:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 831

You deserved it 902

By Glutton - 28/01/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 258

You deserved it 49 591

**** your "beach body" noise

By that’s not how it works - 16/07/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 110

Hint hint

By Lika1712 - 26/08/2014 22:55 - India - Mumbai

Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 008

You deserved it 4 658

By anonymous - 05/05/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 378

You deserved it 59 696

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 429

You deserved it 43 455

By mattlikesfunions - 18/07/2016 18:56 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 736

You deserved it 1 234

By nikkiquila_0699 - 05/09/2009 21:24 - Canada

Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 395

You deserved it 4 856

KennyP55 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 16:10

Wait, you thought ******** your brains out at any point before the 6 hour mark would help you lose weight? Enough to notice? Wow, FYL indeed, because you're an idiot.

hotstuff81 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 16:12

Why the **** would you do that, its called going to the gym or eating healthy instead.

Comments

jaxsk 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 16:38

What movies do you even watch? This is just weird... and laxatives really can't make you skinnier on one time use...

ShimmyPizza 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 16:40

Laxatives are really bad for you, you know. You'd have to take lots of them for long periods of time to noticeably lose weight, and that's extremely unhealthy. YDI for not reading the box, being too lazy to go to the gym, wanting to lose weight in an unhealthy way and just for being plain stupid.

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 16:48

Nicely worded, OP. :D but you're a ******* retard. first of all, you shouldn't just take a laxative to lose weight like that. especially thinking it happens immediately. and if you're not careful, you can get seriously dehydrated from taking a laxative like that. YDI.

doctorbob 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 21:23

YEA EXACTLY. YDI RETARD.

IreadFMLnaked 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 16:49

This FML looks very similar to one I've seen in the moderation section a couple of times last week. Copycat much?

DBJ740 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 16:50

Wow. Hope you guys are lesbos because if not, you're a fag.

paperfox_fml 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 18:56

Hope you're 8 years old because if not, you're an immature ****.

Mata_Hari 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 19:38

One, it says the OP's a MAN. Two, wtf?!

aback 4

Tuesday 30 June 2009 16:50

Read the directions next time. They specifically warn about upscale restaurants and meeting girlfriends' families.

deaditegirl 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 17:11

YDI. Laxatives only make you lose water weight, not any actual weight. All you do is get dehydrated and you'll gain all your "weight loss" back when you drink enough water to fix that. Also, YDI for not reading the directions. ******* idiot.