Today I took a laxative because I felt backed up for some reason....

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Wayne - 19/11/2017 04:12

Today I took a laxative because I felt backed up for some reason. Well I didn't feel a thing until 3 hours later in the middle of Safeway buying beer and pizza. 1 hour later. Still on the toilet in Safeway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 23

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Mynxie 26

Monday 20 November 2017 22:29

Laxatives aren't fast acting but they do last awhile when they finally kick in. Read the directions next time. You so deserve it.

Comments

Mynxie 26

Monday 20 November 2017 22:29

Laxatives aren't fast acting but they do last awhile when they finally kick in. Read the directions next time. You so deserve it.

Keywords

Music Cute Love Coworkers TMI Work Gross Racism Customers Kids Scary Technology Geek Gamers Neighbours Miscellaneous Relatable DIY Ironic Social Media Cheating Sex Awkward Insects Animals Health Insurance Plumbing Money Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 594

You deserved it 3 759

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 382

You deserved it 60 097

The Top

Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 408

You deserved it 8 347

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 815

You deserved it 7 799

Today, I realized I'm a failure as a man. It's been 17 years since a woman even touched me. I grew up fatherless, have completely lost hope for any chance of a wife or kids. I'm 35 and never been in a relationship. I'm a complete failure because of all this, and have become a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 365

Today, my dad told me I needed to "hurry up and find someone to marry" so my kids wouldn't end up "screwed up" from being raised by a single mom. Their dad died six months ago from Covid. Yes, he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 74

Today, after a 7-year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 152

You deserved it 8 397

Today, I'm facing malpractice charges for neglecting a patient and failing to treat an infection. The patient had severe maggot-infested gangrene in his foot with exposed metatarsals, but refused amputation and all treatment. The judge is moving forward with the charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 954

You deserved it 203