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By Discouraged despite my effort - / Thursday 15 December 2016 18:27 /
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By  usnwife  |  18

Tradition or not, unless literally working ALL day, I would be very hurt if my fiance chose to travel to spend the day with his mom instead of me. The post made it sound like OP will still have time off, just not able to travel... I have had many holidays where we celebrated early or late, OP shouldn't have to be without the person she is about to marry. Unless previously discussed or I was working all day, there would be some serious discussions before moving on with the wedding if my fiance picked his mom over me...

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  Goblin182  |  26

There was some one standing beside me (gender is not important here) with a gun to my head and told me to my head and told me to post as if the fiancé was a female. Its her child, she wants to spend time with her child. Better?

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  MamaChey  |  17

Some people get off on pointing out others' mistakes in grammar or comprehension on this site...happens all the time. I just figure that they don't have anything more interesting to post.

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  usnwife  |  18

Tradition or not, unless literally working ALL day, I would be very hurt if my fiance chose to travel to spend the day with his mom instead of me. The post made it sound like OP will still have time off, just not able to travel... I have had many holidays where we celebrated early or late, OP shouldn't have to be without the person she is about to marry. Unless previously discussed or I was working all day, there would be some serious discussions before moving on with the wedding if my fiance picked his mom over me...

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  neuronerd  |  28

It sounded like it was a day trip kind of travel. If OP will be busy all day, she would be leaving her fiance alone for most of the day as well. Why shouldn't her future mother in law and her fiancé get to spend the day together, instead of both of them being alone?

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  usnwife  |  18

Day trip, sure, but the way I read it, it sounded like more... I mean, it depends on their relationship and if it had been talked about in advance, etc, and Im not saying Id leave him or prevent him from seeing his mom or whatever, but if we're getting married I would expect him to not just up and go leaving me alone if I have a significant part of the day off because his mom didn't want to be alone. If he could go the whole time I was working and come home, or if I was only off a short time that'd be different. Like I said, depends on how far, how long Id work, and what previous arrangements/expectations were. There really isnt a ton of info in the post...

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  tantanpanda  |  26

Actually, there's a lot to go off of. OP said she couldn't visit that day but could any other day. This implies that OP cannot go at all on that day. If she just had a morning shift, there's always an afternoon trip, but since it's not possible, you could throw out this scenario. Sounds like OP has some sort of nursing job, which are usually 12 hour shifts anyway. OP should probably just let the fiance decide. If he decides to go, don't hold it against him for not wanting to spend the whole day alone. OP can always come to visit the day after and they can all spend time together, just not on Christmas. Mind you, this is basically what OP had asked the mother in law to do. This is a grey area topic and you can't just point fingers at the mother in law. There are inferences to draw from the fml, so you can't really say there's not enough info.

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Thank you for being a rational person on the Internet. If they are already living together and acting like spouses/partners, I might understand a bit more, but if not, then they don't have those formal ties yet. I can't imagine sitting home alone on Christmas away from my family while my fiance worked. Knowing my husband and myself, in that situation he would have gone on ahead, enjoyed timec with his family, I would have joined a soon as possible, and at that time ib could have opened my gifts and given others there. Maybe we would have all eaten somewhere special to make up for the Christmas meal I missed.

By  mssileas  |  6

Well your schedule isn't technically her fault. For some people it's important to celebrate Christmas ON Christmas Day, also why should your fiance stay when you're working anyway...?

By  allforfun  |  23

Two things about working in healthcare: you will have to work holidays and not everyone else is going to understand or accept that. I miss all kinds of holiday functions but I don't expect everyone else to put their holiday on hold just because I have to work.

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