Intimacy: Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were...

By ahddib - 14/10/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 193

You deserved it 10 347

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 1 788

Waste of time

By I'mmessedup - 29/09/2021 22:59

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 110

You deserved it 529

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 061

You deserved it 7 586

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 040

You deserved it 16 158

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 159

You deserved it 8 656

Time for some DIY

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 22:00

Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 358

Being a parent 101

By Shavaughn Riley - 31/10/2020 23:03 - New Zealand - Kawerau

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 280

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 564

You deserved it 49 682

Not now

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 23:00

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 257

Technique

By jlowder2 - 11/12/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 205

You deserved it 31 154

truthishly 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 9:24

maybe u should have stopped?! you know since she was saying "ouch" maybe u should have checked to make sure she was okay?!

justsayfuck 5

Thursday 14 October 2010 9:08

Guess she was too tired for faking.

Comments

dontfmlplzzz 6

Thursday 14 October 2010 9:45

sounds like making pain not love

DLTsandwich 5

Thursday 14 October 2010 10:07

It's not exactly "making love" when the other person is just lying there, uninterested. I'm not even sure what that would be considered...

EffinAhole 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 10:15

pity ****

MrDanimal 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 14:36

masturbation?

timskiii 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 14:53

... rape?

Agiggleaday 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 15:27

haha

SanpakuEyes 18

Thursday 14 October 2010 22:21

exactly

EffinAhole 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 10:12

Ha! I was gonna post the same thing! #2 its "ditto"

vjiockzx 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 10:43

sucks :/

beefcakeog 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 10:47

it's called I don't want another kid dumbass :p

vjiockzx 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 10:48

lol how would that help?

tygerarmy 35

Thursday 14 October 2010 11:01

That sucks. Your wife should just say she's just not in the mood. But maybe you need to do things that just make her feel good to get her in the mood. Major communication failure all around.