Kids: Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop...

By MyBallsForSaleOnEbay - 21/08/2015 15:25 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 142

You deserved it 7 249

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Same thing different taste

YAAAAAAAAAAAASS

By shat - 12/12/2015 07:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 977

You deserved it 2 496

By I_Has_A_Fishy - 10/07/2012 19:33 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 677

You deserved it 3 453

Those things freak me out

By Gilly - 02/09/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 443

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 134

You deserved it 47 916

By tiredmom - 07/07/2016 15:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 332

You deserved it 1 573

By Uh oh.... - 05/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 2 789

You big fanny

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 17:57 - Germany - Hagen

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 432

You deserved it 31 256

Goodbye Rémy…

By Tough guy - 04/09/2021 23:00

Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 806

By aunty_social - 25/08/2018 14:30

Today, I took my 5-year-old nephew camping. I was about to take him to the outhouse for a bathroom break when he flung the door of the camper open and shouted at the top of his lungs to the entire campground, "We are going to poop now!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 302

You deserved it 318

By Whyis Dremora - 30/09/2018 15:00 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 821

You deserved it 287

Shannon98 16

Saturday 22 August 2015 0:54

Aww your nephew sounds sweet.

Sebastian2022 22

Saturday 22 August 2015 0:50

I think your 5 year old nephew bought the balls on eBay! :P

Comments

RebeccaRFT 18

Saturday 22 August 2015 1:10

Awe that's pretty much a win. That's so cute.

taaywall 13

Saturday 22 August 2015 1:10

sometimes I think they need a "that's badass" button on here.

Precious2002 11

Saturday 22 August 2015 1:13

Awe that's cute hahaha.

texasmade817 5

Saturday 22 August 2015 1:14

U should be ashamed of yourself, at first I thought it's OK most girls are scared of bugs but then I saw your gender.. Come on dude that's just sad

simply_meeeee 26

Saturday 22 August 2015 1:15

Wow, sexist much??

trucker2 33

Saturday 22 August 2015 1:19

Time to buy yourself so pink panties!! YDI

crazyindynathan 13

Saturday 22 August 2015 1:23

Just make sure you stay on his good side!

trucker2 33

Saturday 22 August 2015 1:25

Maybe, hang out with your nephew more, he might toughin you up, a make a man of you someday

I_Like_Dogs 28

Saturday 22 August 2015 1:30

I don't blame you. Roaches are the spawn of lucifer himself. Btw, I'm interested. Price and condition?

alioni 12

Saturday 22 August 2015 1:33

Little man means serious business.

MikaykayUnicorn 36

Saturday 22 August 2015 1:39

Yeah, and if your nephew tells anyone you can pretend you did it to make him feel like he can protect you.

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The Top

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You deserved it 100

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You deserved it 19 037

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 31 377

You deserved it 6 320

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I agree, your life sucks 34 934

You deserved it 3 241

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I agree, your life sucks 53 940

You deserved it 4 329

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I agree, your life sucks 24 375

You deserved it 1 814