By assassinmaster - 04/05/2017 04:00

Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks 5 909
You deserved it 436
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Top comments

ohsnapword 21

Call the police. File charges. Tampering with a mailbox is a federal offense.

135 0
vandj8 9

The obvious solution is to take the package out, unwrap it, and squash it poop side down inside her mailbox.

75 1

Comments

Moerighan 23

If you saw her putting it in there I hope you told her off.

5 1
JadeMinu 10

Damn OP... That's a pretty shitty situation....

1 8
SilentIceWolf 2

you know what's shitty? this ******* joke on EVERY post dealing with shit.

2 0
readingrachel 9

Shit in her mailbox

2 0
wickedgetz 30

you saw and did nothing? you could have at-least asked her about it. never mind, what is done is done, just be a good neighbor and return it, through the open window of her house

8 3
xxjrotcgurlxx 10

take the mailbox, put it in front of her door and light the poop on fire

3 0
CSSDimian 6

"Today, I did nothing but complain on the internet as I watched someone victimize me with a federally prosecutable crime." Fml I'm too lazy and/or stupid to take any of the nearly infinite possible actions that would yield actual results?

7 6
Etweens96 25

Well call the police, there's DNA in the poop and you can have them tracked down for this and file charges

3 1
Amazingandro 15

*sighs and rolls eyes*. Right. Because: A: the local police department are totally going to use lab resources for this crime and TOTALLY dont have a backlog days or weeks long for lab analysis. and B: So many children have their DNA on file with local and federal agencies. It'll be a snap. just plug that poo right into the ole DNAalizer and out pops little billy's name, address, and latest report card. Real life is not an episode of CSI.

2 1
derschadenfreude 5

hey, maybe the kid is black. then the cops will be over to discover a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head in no time. good luck, op! if it doesn't work out, shit in the mom's mailbox, and if she shit-tests you just say "oh, I thought that was normal behavior for you, you shit-bitch"

0 0
saberjpg 6

Sounds to me like the war has begun....Godspeed.

1 0