70
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
By  ragnarok1540  |  34

Pull out your vibrator and give his hand some real competition ... In all seriousness, talk to him and see if you can work on the relationship. See if he can start using all that hand action on you, and start some mutual fun time.

Comments
Reply

I agree she shouldn't completely depend on him, the guy shouldn't be the one relied on to initiate all the time. However, she shouldn't be the one doing all the initiating either. It should be balanced, it can be frustrating when it's just one partner making the effort all the time.

Reply
  zimbosmurf  |  8

Sorry, #24, but in most Male/female-relationships, "he" will always be ready to have sex. In most cases it's "she" who sends negative or mixed signals. So, unless this is one of the rare cases where "he" actually is the limiting factor, if she wants to have sex, maybe she should watch her body language?

Reply

#42, That is an unsupported stereotype of male/female relationships which has no true or scientific backing. It has actually been proven that females want sex just as much as males, there's just different conditions/reasons in which women want sex. These "cases" aren't as rare as you think, I've even been there myself, with my ex, I was constantly initiating with no reciprocation. So I know from experience how frustrating it can be, and kind of makes you feel unwanted, which can eventually just mess with your sex life all together. This is why I said there shouldn't be just one person doing all the initiating, and I mean that in general for any case. I would have said the exact same thing if the roles were reversed. Even if guys are always "ready" for sex, it doesn't mean the girl should always initiate just because of that. Considering the fact that the OP is complaining about it, and the boyfriend's hand is getting more action than her, it seems as though he is the limiting factor in this case. So they should probably sit down and talk through everything to see if they can compromise and come up with a situation that satisfies both of them.

Reply
  xMaeLA  |  21

Horse shit, I'm always the one to initiate sex, and it's damned frustrating when its not reciprocated. Honestly makes one feel like they're not enough. :/ at least, IMO.

By  pjsr  |  27

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply
  DanielleinDC  |  27

No, but if he'd rather masturbate than engage in sex with his partner, that is a problem. I'd like to know if OP initiates and gets turned down or if she has been conditioned to think that it's up to the guy. Either way, there should be a bit of balance between how often he masturbates and how often he has sex with his girlfriend. And OP, get yourself a vibrator.

Reply

I was actually OP, and I do instigate almost every day, I make hints, and sometimes I just flat out tell him when I want to have sex. He seems responsive enough and he agrees and gets kinda excited about it, then finds something else he has to do and I wait all day and then I find him masturbating in the bedroom while I've been waiting for him to be ready all day. It really makes me feel like maybe he doesn't find me attractive anymore. I've tried talking to him about it, but I don't think he's actually absorbing what I say, because nothing changes

Reply
  pjsr  |  27

So, OP, is he masturbating to porn? I still find it hard to believe a guy would rather pleasure himself often instead of partnered sex. Occasionally, yes. Often, no - not unless he's getting off to porn, where you don't have to do anything or ever work through disappointments or trying to please a partner.

Reply
  BrotherPhil  |  27

Maybe you could try catching him and joining in? Someone (possibly Oscar Wilde) said that sex is a poor substitute for masterbation - maybe it doesn't be either or?

By  chefty722  |  9

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By  ragnarok1540  |  34

Pull out your vibrator and give his hand some real competition ... In all seriousness, talk to him and see if you can work on the relationship. See if he can start using all that hand action on you, and start some mutual fun time.

Loading data…