Miscellaneous: Today, I met my Canadian friend at the airport. As we were heading...

By fuckyoudeadgunnuts - 04/09/2015 14:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my Canadian friend at the airport. As we were heading into the city, I told him not to worry about all the US stereotypes and that gun crime in my city is rare. A few hours later, we witnessed a guy get shot in the street in broad daylight. Now he's too scared to leave the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 755

You deserved it 2 824

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The clichés are real

By Krish Kochar - 08/11/2022 10:00 - Canada

Today, I've been living in Canada for past two years, and my friend from the States came to visit. He was talking about how Canadians are so polite, but I was in total denial, that he didn't know anything. While I was arguing with him, a guy in front of us walked into a pole, then apologized to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 858

By smalltownkid - 01/03/2015 23:22 - United States - Houston

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 454

You deserved it 2 977

But mah freedumbs!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 10:23 - Canada

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 049

You deserved it 5 262

End me

By Daniel_rules - 17/04/2009 17:02 - United States

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 219

You deserved it 10 164

Elaborate

By ehxtraordinarily pissed - 13/12/2014 18:36 - United States - Coweta

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "Eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 026

You deserved it 3 390

By unproud - 15/11/2013 07:05 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 116

You deserved it 7 030

Creepy

By TraumaPhobe - 02/01/2022 16:58

Today, I went out in public for the first time in four months since I was mugged and stabbed. Today, I also found out the guy who did it was out on bail. I discovered this walking across the road from the shopping centre where it happened, and he was crossing the road towards me, smiling the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 99

By lamed - 04/12/2009 22:01 - United States

Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 203

You deserved it 14 775

By aloneinaz - 15/01/2017 20:00

Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 724

You deserved it 839

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 11:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 363

You deserved it 44 928

alex47625 22

Saturday 5 September 2015 0:05

Well he will never return

DEATHLORD_fml 16

Saturday 5 September 2015 0:08

Oh man!??. Buy him a gun!He'll feel safe!

Comments

Kramer1998 20

Saturday 5 September 2015 0:47

They have gun crime in canada, you just went to the wrong part of town

HerWrongHole247 18

Wednesday 1 June 2016 4:11

Surrey is where all the gangsters live.

Diablitos 11

Saturday 5 September 2015 0:55

Is he ok?

MidnaLink 33

Saturday 5 September 2015 0:58

You said rare, not non-existent.

KaidensCrow 18

Saturday 5 September 2015 3:45

not exactly rare though either

EarlFug 19

Saturday 5 September 2015 1:22

I'd suggest making the best of being housebound for now ;-) Then go somewhere well-populated.

Arot6 17

Saturday 5 September 2015 1:24

Did he apologize to you during the event? I've gotta keep up my list on which stereotypes are true.

deathshead 19

Saturday 5 September 2015 5:02

From what personal experiences relatives and close friends have told me of, yes Canadians are polite and they also suck at driving.

captainsmegma 12

Saturday 5 September 2015 1:29

Just have him strap on a pistol and go see the sites.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 5 September 2015 1:50

Did the other guy at least say sorry? That might set him at ease...

__coralbell 15

Saturday 5 September 2015 2:00

I'm from Canada and there was shooting at parliament not to long ago. It happens everywhere, sadly.

KaidensCrow 18

Saturday 5 September 2015 3:48

I think I saw that on the news... it was rather shocking, we rarely hear about gun violence in Canada. (I live in America)

copenhagencb82 19

Saturday 5 September 2015 2:02

and that's your state

daniel271 13

Saturday 5 September 2015 2:22

Were you in LA by any chance?

Keywords

Parents Relatable Work Awkward Job interview Social Media Jealousy Love Facebook Friends Relationship advice AITA Kids Roommate Shoes Annoying Music Names Customers Capitalism Money Education Weird Gamers Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Allergies Dogs Embarrassing

The Top

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 915

You deserved it 44 864

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 8 930

The Top

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 449

You deserved it 3 819

Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 189

You deserved it 60 967

Today, I found out that the new receptionist earns more than I do. I'm an undergraduate accountant and I've been working there for 2 years. Oh and I started out as the receptionist before I got a "promotion". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 487

Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 940

You deserved it 5 571

Today, I attended a Buddhist prayer service for my religion and philosophy course. When the service was over, everyone stood up. Unfortunately, my legs and feet had fallen asleep so much that I lost balance and tackled a monk into the shrine. I'm expected to pay for injuries and damages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 397

You deserved it 1 281

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 635

You deserved it 268