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I prefer to use a rolled up $20 bill, makes me feel more important while I snort my coffee

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I once came down with food poisoning during hay fever season. I had to replace my entire underwear collection after that week!

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Yeah, I'm not going to try this out. And not because I'm a guy that doesn't want to wear a thong, but because this is ludicrous. If you have gas, you might be able to make it unnoticeable. If you have gas and a cough or anything that requires a sharp contractions of your diaphragm there's no controlling of how the gas exits. Maybe stuff a squeaky toy squeaker up your ass and say it's just your lungs wheezing LOL.

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