Intimacy: Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 453

You deserved it 5 359

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 938

You deserved it 3 064

By ShouldveStayedAVirgin - 13/01/2016 18:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 907

You deserved it 7 075

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 002

You deserved it 6 084

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 402

You deserved it 3 889

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 032

You deserved it 47 385

New skills

By Anonymous - 27/09/2020 08:03 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 1 187

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 832

You deserved it 6 141

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 403

You deserved it 11 353

By James - 22/07/2011 05:00 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 899

You deserved it 12 101

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 037

You deserved it 59 275

sucksforyoudude 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:05

mist have been his first time too

AngryNinja 1

Tuesday 9 February 2010 22:03

no she didn't get rapped. eminem has better things to do. she probably didn't get raped either or she's say so.

Comments

waNgEmsauCe 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:08

I'm sure you proceeded to give him a Mexican bowtie (urban dictionary) ;)

x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 12:29

Lovely.....

pineappleducki 4

Tuesday 9 February 2010 16:28

Is that Die?

rider12 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:09

lol a bit excited

koolitaliano 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:11

you don't have to pay if it's her first time, it counts as training.

ambrz 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:11

it's ok ur first is usually terrible. it gets better with time and more experienced partners

Kee_1992 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:11

fyl. *rotfl* ok now i got that out of my system, you would do well to heed these words- dont go to quick, you'll fk shit up

kaydee085 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:12

awww that really sux!

CookiesNOJ 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:13

its kinda ironic no? uve been holding out for this long n got robbed in 30 seconds flat lol

Hendrixguy 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:36

slapped by IGNORANCE (:

reapfml 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:13

You after fifteen seconds: I WIN!!!! :D

aces88 1

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:14

tell him to grow some balls

akiranozaki 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:14

If you're unsatisfied, are you sure you finished? Either way, hahahahaha

Keywords

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The Top

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 218

Today, I discovered that whenever my house is affected by a blackout, the cooler for my Xbox will turn on by itself when it's fixed. My Xbox cooler flashes repeatedly, alternating between several bright colors, when it turns on. If I'm asleep when it happens, which is often the case, it wakes me up. Every. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 370

The Top

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 563

You deserved it 3 857

Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 271

You deserved it 66 958

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 187

You deserved it 138 414

Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 814

You deserved it 8 944

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 394

You deserved it 47 237

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 109

Same thing different taste

New skills

Nuts

A tale as old as time

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