Intimacy: Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the...

By Anonymous - 06/05/2011 18:09 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 694

You deserved it 52 101

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Same thing different taste

By mikey51 - 10/03/2012 01:56 - Australia

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 629

You deserved it 41 561

A Caturday surprise

By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 213

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 701

You deserved it 2 757

By unknown - 13/12/2011 02:04 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 365

You deserved it 3 123

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 158

You deserved it 1 269

Fight ****

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 10:00

Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 293

By wowdadreally - 23/12/2014 20:46 - United States - College Station

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 709

You deserved it 6 470

By jack s.b. - 14/11/2013 22:15 - United States - Austin

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 053

You deserved it 16 422

By fuckbucket14 - 14/04/2012 22:56 - Egypt - Hurghada

Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 925

You deserved it 12 131

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 165

You deserved it 37 092

mozeltov 7

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:03

why were you beating your pet ferret?

CitrusGirl 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:43

42- That comment was made so much better by the cat in your picture.

Comments

mrahhhhh 21

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:05

I want to see an illustration of this in the future, with a literal cartoon ferret. "hint, hint whoever is in charge of the FML blog"

oreobunbun 3

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:05

For a moment, I thought that you meant the animal, Ferret. lol

cc88 3

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:14

youre not alone LOL

sheethapins 13

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:24

I did too lol I was like damn, what did it do? Is he spanking it in there so it couldn't escape? lmao

garzanic000 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 3:58

36- Wow your picture is freakin' amazing :P

DarkHelmet 10

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:06

LMAO your Dad's my hero

princessRiRi97 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 2:21

lol

borkchop1992 15

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:06

bleep blop bloop almost done

CorinnaHEY 6

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:10

LMAO

misstamz 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:07

Spanking the ferret?

Anyoniemous 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:08

ANIMAL ABUSER! Don't spank your animals.

cailindoll 3

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:08

Hahahaz.. I literally thought he was spanking a ferret (animal) until I saw the comments :)

leonlee2002 10

Saturday 28 June 2014 4:24

Same here bro

Belovan 2

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:09

At least you lasted.

e2m2cent 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:16

"spanking the ferret" well iv learned something new today

sheethapins 13

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:23

spanking the ferret? thank you I needed those lols

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Same thing different taste

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