Intimacy: Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die... - FML

By nickyy - 29/11/2009 02:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 472

You deserved it 31 408

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Same thing different taste

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By Shrekkk - 02/07/2019 06:14

Spicy

Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 2 572

By wowthatwould - 04/12/2011 21:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 400

You deserved it 46 689

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Spicy

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 585

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Franklin Park

Spicy

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 388

You deserved it 43 137

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 775

You deserved it 32 318

Sneaky hand shandy

By Skylan - 13/11/2008 10:31 - France

Spicy

Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 796

You deserved it 58 904

By hitmutefirst - 03/02/2009 10:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 615

You deserved it 50 503

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 198

You deserved it 56 602

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 744

You deserved it 5 862

Caught

By losingstreak - 31/01/2009 20:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 243

You deserved it 37 995

Next

Top comments

pizz0wn3d 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 9:08

L2Alt F4, windows button D, or even Alt Tab. YDI for being computer illiterate

lonewolf2701 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 9:16

there should be a **** watching class, i declare myself a teacher, rule one: never watch **** parents home :p

Comments

Jonathan33 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 10:13

don't forget about ctrl+w it also closes the page ;) haha but seriously, when your young, your still wet behind the ears...you'll learn young one. (assuming youre young since you're still living with mommy)

jackalope069 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 17:30

plus he's still watching ****

soul_fml 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 14:51

Almost every bachlor watches ****.

Brouhaha_fml 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 11:06

14th ZOMFG!!!!!!!1111!!!1111one YDI for having a cordless mouse

GrnBstrd 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 11:27

keyboard short cuts are a life saver... you should learn some!

Phamjr03_fml 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 11:29

haha

perdix 29

Sunday 29 November 2009 15:06

Having your mouse die at that moment is not as bad as having your trouser snake spit!

ScaryyMary 14

Monday 30 November 2009 22:22

It probably spit all over his mouse and shorted it out. No way it just "died".

magenkyo 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 16:14

haha trouser snake spit

xoluvinshayxo 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 16:21

GAHAHAHA!!!! xD im sorry but YDI

Rellich 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 16:24

YDI, not for watching ****, but now knowing how to Alt-F4

Rota 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 17:03

It comforts me to know that a lot of people out there know the keyboard shortcuts to close programs. On the other hand, OP is a dumbass for being computer illiterate. YDI

ygdrassil 17

Sunday 29 November 2009 17:25

did your mouse die because somthing wet touched it? like your cum-coated hand?

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 134

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect." I need this class to graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 980

You deserved it 2 748

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 13 477

You deserved it 36 098

Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 358

Today, I woke up fully clothed, trying to remember the night's events. I walk to the den to awkwardly ask my dad for a ride to my car and he points to the computer. A pic of me passed out on the bathroom floor is now our new wallpaper. My skirt was around my knees. He sent it to everyone we know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 996

You deserved it 25 907

Today, I accidentally unmuted my mic during a class, and normally it would've just been silence, but dumb old me just had to sing a song at the top of my lungs, and I only stopped when my phone blew up with notifications. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 1 133

Today, during an important exam, I had a huge panic attack and had to run out of the exam hall. Everyone saw me, and now everywhere I go, people keep pretending to have a panic attack and run away from me. I have to spend two more years with these assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 843

You deserved it 7 532

Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 672

You deserved it 6 440