Love: Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang...

By LC - 23/01/2009 15:12 - United States

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 828

You deserved it 7 156

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
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Same thing different taste

By HM - 16/04/2015 13:10 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 581

You deserved it 4 515

By Anonymous - 06/01/2016 06:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 123

You deserved it 2 163

The little things

By Anonymous - 13/09/2010 16:03 - United States

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 281

You deserved it 2 937

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 388

You deserved it 22 956

The gift

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 153

Surprise!

By Fat_abott - 05/01/2012 20:40 - France

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 250

You deserved it 5 556

Welcome home!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 138

Alexa, play "You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties" by Jona Lewie

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 671

You deserved it 9 286

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 07:08 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 540

You deserved it 5 361

By Anonymous - 31/07/2016 16:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 129

You deserved it 2 288

Haelous 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 18:50

I think you're suffering from a lack of creativity. Even the floor works just fine. ;)

Superman8_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 2:36

the couch, the car, the floor, the garage, the back porch, the front porch...all acceptable. figure it out

Comments

Regenbogen 0

Monday 18 May 2009 6:08

dirty sex.

samtime 0

Friday 5 June 2009 21:25

Tell it cat it's a RUINER!

Shyman4ever 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 22:09

You know there are other places then the bed to have sex. Guys don't care where it is.

Rachalynia 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 22:58

Well at least you noticed before he got there.

Andyangels27 0

Monday 10 August 2009 11:09

today I was chillin at my favorite place. the bed. when this ogre ***** told me to move so she could bring this random man **** over and get her rocks off. i got so pissed I made my self sick and vomited all over the bed haha bitch

Im_cursed 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 18:41

your cat did you a favor.. who knows when is the last time you cleaned your 1 set of linens and obviously your putting out like a ***** so they must smell like ass juice.. lucky for him as well since no he has less chance of contracting the coochiecocktitous that was infested in your linens.