Miscellaneous: Today, I had to take a drug test for work, I have never used...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Thelonelydino - 14/04/2016 13:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to take a drug test for work, I have never used drugs but I tested positive and was fired after my boss heard about it. I guess the brownies my roommate made last didn't just make me extremely sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

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Today, I hooked up with a guy I know from the gym. This dude is built like The Hulk, over 6 feet tall and almost 24 stone. We were really getting into it when he slipped and his whole weight went onto my knee, which bent completely the wrong way and dislocated everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 116

Today, my boyfriend has been unemployed for over six months. He has applied EVERYWHERE with no luck, but he also has the opportunity to start his own business. Instead, he just spends his time sitting in front of the TV all day long. I'm starting to believe he is not a driven man, and I hate that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 232

The Top

Today, and for the past 3 days, my sister has been whining and crying about her “breakup” with her “boyfriend”. It’s the most annoying thing ever and I haven’t been able to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 619

Today, all of my friends stopped messaging me. I checked their Snapchat and Instagram accounts and saw that they were all at a party. When I confronted them, they assured me I was invited and should join them. When I arrived at the address, the house was empty. They gave me the wrong address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 328

You deserved it 331

Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 216

Today, my boyfriend finally called me after a week of barely any communication. He wanted to talk to my brother about Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 677

You deserved it 5 599

Today, I'm solely responsible for my kids, entirely, while my husband goes to the gym, his office, goes running, and plays with his buddies. He wanted kids; I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 382

Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 364

You deserved it 58 985