Kids: Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview...

By Anonymous - 17/01/2015 18:11 - Australia - Perth

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 486

You deserved it 6 305

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Same thing different taste

By Ange - 15/01/2012 19:34 - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 456

You deserved it 5 089

By parenting sucks - 01/07/2011 17:42 - United States

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 586

You deserved it 5 353

By Anonymous - 03/02/2012 07:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 927

You deserved it 4 350

By DeepFriedLettuce - 29/04/2016 01:33 - United States - Vashon

Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 442

You deserved it 1 518

By auraya1985 - 12/09/2015 21:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 344

You deserved it 1 878

By Nightmare - 15/01/2013 14:41

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 052

You deserved it 4 743

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 04:44 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 851

You deserved it 2 515

Too realistic

By ThatLove - 05/04/2023 18:00 - Switzerland - Worb

Today, I had to explain to my housemate that the cast of "The Crown" is not the real Royal Family impersonating themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 104

Absentee

By Superdad - 22/06/2022 06:00

Today, I told my daughter her mom was busy fighting aliens, so I wouldn’t have to tell her that her mom is just a shitty, self-absorbed bitch, who doesn’t deserve kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 1 065

Shame! Shame!

By Anonymous - 05/03/2022 12:00

Today, my daughter is so out of touch with anything not related to her phone and her social popularity that she doesn't know who Hitler was. I had to show her on YouTube, and while we aren't religious anymore, we are a Jewish family so this is an extra level of parental shame for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 590

whatsittoyabitch 15

Sunday 18 January 2015 0:10

Buy her a book. Any book.

Pleonasm 35

Sunday 18 January 2015 0:08

You mean I haven't been watching snuff films at the movie theater all my life? Well there goes my lack of moral fiber. Thanks OP, you asshole.

Comments

SarcasticShade 16

Sunday 18 January 2015 0:20

Screw you Dave.

GunSlinger69 19

Sunday 18 January 2015 0:24

Nice daughter you got there, but seriously, the fact that kim jong un was offended by such a shitty movie is beyond me.

horendale 11

Sunday 18 January 2015 0:28

sorry to tell you pall but your daughter is dumb as shit... wait I would be insulting shit by saying that

sstahpp 33

Sunday 18 January 2015 0:48

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

shadysheikj 14

Sunday 18 January 2015 0:52

They hate us cuz they anus

Johnnycake23 42

Sunday 18 January 2015 0:58

Time to interview a new daughter OP

The_Avatar 22

Sunday 18 January 2015 1:28

No offense but your daughter is an idiot. Get her ass a tutor... Or three...

Lalala579121 27

Sunday 18 January 2015 18:59

I think it's her brain that's the problem, not her ass.

BlindlyWandering 17

Monday 19 January 2015 17:42

For her sake I hope she has a nice ass. If she can't be smart, at least she can be pretty.

DrHothead 15

Sunday 18 January 2015 1:29

God damn SPOILER ALERT***

StickyPickles 33

Sunday 18 January 2015 1:30

Kelly Bundy in real life?

sadistmonkey 19

Sunday 18 January 2015 1:48

WHAT? Seriously? Next you're gonna tell me that Eminem is NOT gay!

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Today, I hooked up with a guy I know from the gym. This dude is built like The Hulk, over 6 feet tall and almost 24 stone. We were really getting into it when he slipped and his whole weight went onto my knee, which bent completely the wrong way and dislocated everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 119

Today, my boyfriend is pushing for sex even though I’ve just had spinal surgery, his reasoning being I only have to lie there, so it’s not like he’s asking me to move or actively participate. He basically wants me to ignore my pain and become a masturbation toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 159

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and our so-called “friends” left us stranded at a park, when our phones and wallets were also missing. I had to walk nearly four miles in tears before I eventually got a ride from a stranger. Luckily, my phone was returned to my mom, but I’m still in tears from the distress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 495

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 407

You deserved it 10 110

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 733

You deserved it 3 270

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 019

You deserved it 6 256

Today, I've become so accustomed to finding my sister drunk or otherwise passed out in the same spot in the living room that every time I go in there, I instinctively lift my feet higher as though to step over her, even when she's not there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 467

You deserved it 1 695

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 241

You deserved it 2 446

Same thing different taste

Too realistic

Absentee

Shame! Shame!

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