Kids: Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that... - FML

By DeepFriedLettuce - 29/04/2016 01:33 - United States - Vashon

Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 442

You deserved it 1 518

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Same thing different taste

By no she wasn't high - 02/12/2013 02:50 - United States - Garland

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 879

You deserved it 5 880

Top Chef

By Mother of a dumb blonde - 22/06/2017 02:00

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 866

You deserved it 696

By Anonymous - 08/09/2013 23:20 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 445

You deserved it 4 429

By Anonymous - 03/02/2012 07:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 927

You deserved it 4 350

Whole foods

By anonymous - 06/03/2016 05:33 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 297

You deserved it 3 557

By technical - 31/03/2015 02:50 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 972

You deserved it 2 370

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 19:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 625

You deserved it 9 524

She's not wrong

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 06:00

Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 2 131

By wtfdaughter - 03/02/2015 16:59 - Brazil - Recife

Today, my daughter put a doll in the microwave "to keep her warm". She's 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 508

You deserved it 4 825

By wow - 23/06/2011 08:53 - France

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 807

You deserved it 6 203

Next

Top comments

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 29 April 2016 16:31

Oh my, It just goes to show that common sense isn't necessarily a genetic trait, or that common. I hope she is not super impressionable and believes everything she reads or hears, although it's looking like it.

vikky538 28

Friday 29 April 2016 16:33

Except for the rice. Its adds trans fat and reduces the carbs in rice.

Comments

mattyiscool123 26

Friday 29 April 2016 18:40

Little known fact: it's actually vice versa

bad_boyfriend 10

Friday 29 April 2016 19:46

This is pretty sound science if you ask me

pharm121 21

Friday 29 April 2016 19:46

Well I guess there's no need for those college applications now. Haha. Jk.

neuronerd 28

Friday 29 April 2016 20:35

Oh how I wish it did...

RageWolf16 31

Friday 29 April 2016 21:09

Should've let her gain weight and wallow in stupidity.

xx000o 27

Friday 29 April 2016 21:41

Sounds like you and them there skhools ain't been doin to good a job ejucating her.

ShleeG 23

Friday 29 April 2016 23:14

She's just a dreamer. Nothing wrong with that lol

sandman676 20

Saturday 30 April 2016 0:45

OMG

rojita369 17

Saturday 30 April 2016 3:43

If I ever find a genie, I am making that one of my 3 wishes!

myabeth 11

Saturday 30 April 2016 4:52

hahaha I wish!

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The Top

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 98

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 136

You deserved it 72 915

The Top

Today, I ended a 15-year relationship. Don't worry, it wasn't mine. It was my parents'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 441

You deserved it 579

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 199

You deserved it 9 129

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 341

You deserved it 26 528

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 years-old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother with shocked look and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 933

You deserved it 21 152

Today, I had to tell the third guy that my mother set me up with that it wasn't him, it's me. Apparently my mother thinks if she sets me up with enough guys, I will "date the gay out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 850

You deserved it 1 535

Today, as I was stretching, I realized my hand can reach all the way up to touch the fan, when it was on, and going full speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 973

You deserved it 3 740