Miscellaneous: Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket...

By Andre - 16/05/2011 04:37

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 970

You deserved it 32 047

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/08/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 046

You deserved it 39 403

By Cpt_Concerned - 22/09/2009 04:37 - Canada

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 426

You deserved it 52 580

By ash - 25/08/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 101

You deserved it 41 812

By shelby - 30/03/2011 04:54 - United States

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 488

You deserved it 27 347

By mindlost - 07/01/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 261

You deserved it 29 453

By Wino - 05/12/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 785

You deserved it 34 534

By foxfur - 14/07/2016 12:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 710

You deserved it 3 942

The Conversationalist

By Anonymous - 13/09/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I was so bad at maintaining a conversation that the only way for the other guy to put up with me was to drink. He was the designated driver. He would rather risk drinking and driving than being sober around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 400

By talker - 14/11/2012 06:14 - United States - Middletown

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 539

You deserved it 23 014

By Cup_of___ - 26/11/2009 16:23 - United States

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 935

You deserved it 30 105

Doortje 29

Monday 16 May 2011 12:10

Well, acknowledging you have a problem is the first step..

FunnyGuy5051 7

Monday 16 May 2011 12:06

I think they thought you were more drunk than pathetic

Comments

ambowew 7

Monday 16 May 2011 12:34

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. At least you're admitting that you have a problem, I'm sure the supermarket staff will miss their favorite regular though.

sourgirl101 28

Monday 16 May 2011 12:37

Who won the debate? If you're having a Crown on the rocks while you're writing this, you may need help.

luvppl 6

Monday 16 May 2011 12:37

I heard that talking to yourself is a sign of being crazy... o_o

indistructo 3

Monday 16 May 2011 12:46

at least (unlike sone people) you can admit it...

MRobvious750 0

Monday 16 May 2011 12:49

Somewhere in the debate against yourself throw in a comment or two about what other people you know like to drink. That way people will think you're throwing a party; and not that you're a drunk loser.

thecovert 7

Monday 16 May 2011 12:57

So make a decision and stop being one.

Gallaghers 0

Monday 16 May 2011 13:04

I actually got more of a "pathetic loser" vibe reading this stupid FML. It sounds like your looking for attention and can't think of anything real to complain about

missworthless 0

Monday 16 May 2011 19:01

I'm pretty sure being an alcoholic is a legit thing to complain about and a good reason to think one's life sucks. If the op is truly an alcoholic, then their life would most likely suck.

InsaneGenius 0

Monday 16 May 2011 13:20

You're not a pathetic loser. You are someone who knows they have a problem and you are smart enough to tell yourself not to do it. If you did buy it, it's a setback; next time don't even go down that aisle. Try to have those arguments in your head because people will think you're crazy! On the other hand though, who cares what they think?

MRobvious750 0

Monday 16 May 2011 13:41

I really need to know if you wrote this comment thinking OP would read it and be inspired, change and live a better and healthier lifestyle. Then I would like to know if this is your style of comments. I guess I might be prying a bit much but I'm a curious person.

InsaneGenius 0

Monday 16 May 2011 14:29

I wrote this because it's what I thought. I'm not naive enough to think that a comment on FML is going to change someone's life; I'm also not mean either. Uplifting is not really my style of commenting, but if it's what I happen to think it's what I write.