Love: Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled...

By Anonymous - 05/10/2014 15:47 - United States - Arlington

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words, "Lisa, will you…" then abruptly shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 218

You deserved it 6 314

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Same thing different taste

By CombatShadow45 - 25/11/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 800

You deserved it 5 447

Nervous

By amelie - 09/12/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 719

You deserved it 712

Timing is everything

By -bird-poop- - 10/10/2009 12:52 - Germany

Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say, "Will you marry me?" a bird shat on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 012

You deserved it 7 559

By anonymous - 02/09/2014 18:58 - United States - Wolcott

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 765

You deserved it 9 651

By maebyf - 31/08/2010 14:48 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 976

You deserved it 8 364

By gutted - 07/05/2012 02:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 930

You deserved it 2 874

Happy now?

By minime94 - 15/11/2012 06:35 - United States - Sunset

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 341

You deserved it 2 539

By sothatsano - 16/12/2015 08:56 - United States - Spokane

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. At the right moment, I got down on one knee. As I was reaching into my pocket to get the ring, she got so freaked out she kicked me in the face. I chipped a tooth and the ring flew off, and now I can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 445

You deserved it 1 827

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 272

You deserved it 299

By Anonymous - 03/06/2019 00:02

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in front of about 75 people in the fanciest restaurant in town. She told me she was already engaged, while holding up her right hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 231

You deserved it 570

mrtonyanderson 20

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:20

Smooth

sarah5745 41

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:20

Holy crap! Didn't see that coming op ;)

Comments

FATALSTR1KE 9

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:23

I've never tried that. Awesome idea! Did it work?

Kiki242 19

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:24

How did you take a dump out of the blue? Shouldn't there have been signs?

justin1394 10

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:26

"Lisa, will you.... wipe my ass?" Hahaha

vixypixys 13

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:43

Genuinely lol'd!

Zarcissa 34

Sunday 5 October 2014 21:21

Hopefully not with the ring.

ceelos97 16

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:27

Wow awkward..... So did she say yes?

brendejafulable 41

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:28

Congratulations. What an unforgettable memento.

ThatFafHippo 6

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:29

Enough internet

XBurytheCastleX 25

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:30

Is there any chance you are Shane Dawson?

interesting33 36

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:31

how does that happen?

LittleBastard 20

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:32

Incoming shit-storm of "shitty situation" puns. :(

brivielle 15

Monday 6 October 2014 1:11

Three hits already..

Bladed 3

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:37

Incoming CRAPPY puns about shit.

150493x 29

Tuesday 7 October 2014 22:19

That was painful to read

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The Top

Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 84

Today, I was crying after a bad day at work. As I walked down the street, a young boy in a minivan tried to get my attention. He kept saying, "Hi, hi, please wave!" in a sad voice. When I politely waved at him, I saw a group of kids in the van giggling hysterically and taking pictures of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 284

You deserved it 285

The Top

Today, I noticed that the glasses I got this week seemed off balance. A further inspection showed that one of my ears is bigger than the other. Through even further inspection, my family concluded that the entire right side of my body is higher than my left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 159

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 207

Today, my sister stole my bike and gave it to her boyfriend. When I told my parents, they said it was fine, because I wasn't using it anyway. The reason I wasn't using it was because it needed a new tire, and I was saving up for one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 656

You deserved it 901

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 431

You deserved it 60 036

Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 466

You deserved it 7 806

Today, while discussing difficulties in relationships, I cautiously suggested to my best friend that he may not have the healthiest way of resolving conflicts. He got angry at me for not understanding him but refused to tell where he felt misunderstood, then gave me the silent treatment. Way to prove a point, dear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 99