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FML - The follow-up
mobigomo Say more :
Honestly it was 100% my fault I teared. Going deep in the realm of TMI this is pretty much what happened. I didn't have an epidural so I was feeling the "ring of fire" like a mofo but he had told me to hold off on pushing for a moment because he was trying to relubricate and massage me open more so I could push my sons head out. Would have worked fine if I hadn't had a crazy intense contraction which made me push extremely hard while his fingers were in there, which made me tear right through. He did an amazing job stitching me up. Really after he realized who I was his interest was more in how I healed and if he stitched me up ok. Apparently he was super new and it was only his 4th day working in the hospital as an attending doctor. He was great though. I was really happy with my experience overall, except for the tearing through to my butthole part.
By mobigomo / Wednesday 27 May 2015 06:48 / United States - Seattle
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  mikepzz  |  27

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  Izabushel  |  62

Pregnant women in labour look very different to what they look like all dressed up, calm and in control of their environment. As a midwife I'm terrified of seeing people in town with prams and children, just in case I delivered their baby. I consider it an honor and a privilege to have been a part of such a special time, but I may have also delivered 4 other babies that shift. Chances are, I will not remember their face. We were also often looking at our patients from quite a different angle, if you know what I mean. Edit: snap #56!

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@102, That's not standard practice anymore, as it's been shown episiotomies don't actually prove to have any significant advantages and can actually cause more harm than good. If the doctor knew that extensive tearing was likely, MAYBE he should've performed one, but they're generally not done as preventative measures anymore unless there are specific circumstances present. Or one was performed and OP tore anyway, which would be even worse. OP- I hope you healed well! No denying this scenario would suck, but you weren't there to impress him. Congrats on the baby!

By  melisssa87  |  22

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  melisssa87  |  22

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  trtnt25  |  19

I was in a car accident and broke my pelvis. Now with there being plates and pins holding it together, when I have children I'll have to have a c section. I wish I could have a natural birth though :/

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  melisssa87  |  22

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  lulinator  |  38

C-sections aren't that bad. I had to have an emergency one after 12 hours of unproductive labour, which was horrible because I had to recover from labour, and a major surgery. My second I had a planned c-section, recovery was fine, and I was super thankful not to have to push a 9 1/2lb baby out normally. My vag hurt just reading this FML.

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  vixypixys  |  13

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You're a different kind of stupid aren't you?! It's one thing to state facts but you're just shiting stupid out of your ass. First off, both types of deliveries have complications!! &both are extremely painful and can cause death. I had a csec and it was not easy using the bathroom. Just squating down was horrible. Then having to push while you're body was just cut open through 8 different layers isn't a walk in the park either. That's right, your cut open from 8 different layers, including skin, fat, muscles, nerves, and uterus. Then sometimes they even have to lay your intestines out on the table to pull the baby out. Sure there that excuse (well you're numb so you can't feel anything) well let me tell you I felt everything when they were cutting me open and it wasn't pleasant. You aren't always numbed up all the way. Then if you're really unlucky like I was you have a horrific reaction to the stuff they give you to relax you and almost die. I can't even remember holding my baby for the first time I was so out of it. They couldn't even get my hr over 40 for 15 hours. Oh and then if you're lucky enough to get stapled up, you get to experience the great sensation of pinching and pulling of your scar until you go in a few days later to have them removed without any type of pain meds. The pain wasn't so bad because I have a high pain tolerance, all though it was still very painful, but I hope I never have to have another csec again because they're not easy. I hope you get that planned csec you want. Lmao, first rule is they never goes as planned!! No birth does. Goodluck. You sound very naive and should maybe hold off having children until you learn a little more about stuff.

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  B00K_L0V3R93  |  28

So you'd choose major abdominal surgery over natural birth because of a some tearing and possible urinary difficulties. That's just part of being a Mum. The c-section was invented to aid women in medical emergencies, ie. last resort, and as such should be used as one. Not just because you don't feel like giving birth. If that's the case, don't get pregnant. I was told directly from a Doctor, an obstetrician, that natural birth is far more healthy for you and that c-sections not only leave scars but can damage the muscles in the stomach, not to mention the excess recovery time. I will agree that there are upsides and downsides for both and I guess it's really up to the individual to decide for themselves. I would just think twice about the c-section if I were you.

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  lovelockdown23  |  23

although she is wrong about most women wanting them she is right about c sections being more popular now. You can now have planned/ elected c sections if you want as long as you are 38 weeks. I had an emergency c section and I was good two days later and didn't have to take pain pills after 4. Now any time I deliver I have to have a C section. I'd choose that over this complication anyday. I went through no pain at all and my son was out in 10 minutes. you can barely see the scar and the weight was literally gone after they got my son out. there's nothing wrong with preference it doesn't make you super mom to have a natural birth and nobody should be shunned for wanting a c section that is so damn annoying!

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  melisssa87  |  22

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  melisssa87  |  22

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I'm not calling you stupid because you have a different opinion, that's perfectly fine, I'm calling you stupid because you have your facts mixed up. Did you know having a csec also posses a great risk to your child having asthma and other problems? Also coming out with uri's. Natural birth pushes fluids out of the babies body and lungs but when you have a csec that doesn't happen, so babies often end up in nicu. So you saying there is much less complication doesn't make sense. Also, your csec scar can rip wide open and you would have to pac" it for weeks, that is also very very painful. Like I said do some research before you say that csec are so much better than a vaginal birth and cause less complications because forbid you do decide to have a planned one and it doesn't go the graceful way you thought it would just because you "thought" there was less complication. I honestly don't give a shit what kind of birth you choose, but like I said state some actual facts... Before you go bashing one option. As far as breastfeeding and shit, that's your thing, but that doesn't always lead to saggy tits. Just saying. (;

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  murph_fml  |  21

Formula over breastfeeding can lead to health issues for your baby, including immune issues and allergies. Between your "easy c-section" and "formula is fine", I wonder if you'll even spend time with your baby. Buy yourself a new purse if you need an accessory that badly, other people do not want to raise your kid for you.

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  Izabushel  |  62

#28 Don't know where you have gotten your facts from, but a booked LSCS for a healthy pregnancy is more dangerous for the mother and the baby. If it were the other way around, wouldn't we just book everyone in for a LSCS? As for having a LSCS to prevent stress incontinence. Damage to the pelvic floor occurs during pregnancy. Having a LSCS will not prevent it. Some recent studies have actually shown that women who have had LSCS's reported higher incidences of urinary and bowel problems. And for the badly torn vagina. The person delivering your baby can have a lot of influence in how much damage is done to the vagina. I have kept stats for the last 20 years of the just over a thousand babies I have delivered. Majority were intact or with vaginal grazes not requiring suturing. 300 or so were 1st degree. I've only had to perform 3 episiotomies and have had less than 40 3rd degree tears, and luckily no 4ths (where it tears through the bowel). Largest baby was 5250 grams and she had vaginal grazes which did not require sutures, also in a first time Mum. Smallest was 600 grams and she grew up fine. Good control of the head with the final few pushes is very important. Uncontrolled pushing at the end without providing proper flexion of the fetal head will greatly increase the risk of tears. Management of labour in Australia is quite different to America though. The position you can give birth in and how you can move impact greatly upon the end result. First thoughts on reading this is if she had such bad tearing, the Dr may be partly to blame. So OP, if your single and you get together, he may be to blame if you have any difficulties in the bedroom department. However, I have noticed that some women of certain ethnic background have perineums more likely to, well the only term for it is, explode. And I have spoken way to much on a topic I am very passionate about. Apologies to people not interested. If you do happen to be interested, I can tell you more things I have discovered over my years in preventing vaginal tearing, but you may want to message me rather than boring everyone.

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  Candyazz  |  10

C section is used as a last resort. its not just doctors or insurance saying so. C section is actually a lot more harmful to the baby. When given anesthesia for the surgery, if can slow the baby's heart rate tremendously. Its only a good choice if women are unable to birth naturally or if the doctor needs to quickly take the baby out. If you're worried about what your vag will look like after birth and willing to put your child at risk for cosmetics, you're not ready for children.

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  cenci  |  8

c-sections are the going to be the main cause in evolution in U.S. humans. almost more than 50% of women have c-sections because of a LAST resort. it's not a GO TO surgery that you have to have. for the people wondering about evolution and c-sections; it is because the baby could only devolve a brain and skull big enough to fit through the women's vagina. now with c-sections, the baby could expect a bigger brain with the generations chromosomes, getting c sections. if this happens, we will have bigger brains due to the new procedure, and evolve. P.S. to all the idiots who think this will happen over night, this will take thousands and thousands of years to take effect when we completely see a difference in the human body. So #52.. if you want to be a cause in evolution, then go ahead. get a c-section even though you don't need one. just so "you don't want ur vag torn" who gives a shit about that? seriously. deal with it. people 1000s of years ago had children, without a c-section. and look at us now.. I think they pulled through with vaginas being torn. you are highly immature. I send my condolences to your uneducated cranium.

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  DoomedGemini  |  35

Same with the "saggy tits", if you are more worried about how you look than the health of your child: DONT HAVE A CHILD. I feel bad for any child whose mother cares more about their appearance than them.

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  lovelockdown23  |  23

Lol I'm going to lol and walk away. but I am going to point out that #6 reasons are all wrong so I see why people are upset then I'm going to point out that they don't staple for c sections anymore. wtf cares about 100 years ago. they were riding horses back then should we ignore cars and throw on the saddle? they were sticking damn needles through people's eyes for things as simple as depression should we ignore medication now? when people start throwing "fact" around at least use the right supporting details.

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  sturschaedel  |  27

I had two vaginal births and I didn't have any tearing, I'm having the same sensations during sex as before, I'm only peeing in the toilet, not the pants and I have no scars, nowhere. In addition, I breastfed both of my kids fully the first six months and partially until shortly before their second birthday. My tits might not be as perky as before, but then I'm almost ten years older, so that's to be expected. By the way, the reason tits get saggy isn't breastfeeding, but pregnancy. During pregnancy the breasts grow a couple sizes, after birth (or after the first couple of months nursing) they shrink again. That's when the skin gets lose and thus saggier. If you can't deal with that, don't have kids.

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#85 they do still staple, I was stapled up less than 2 yrs ago and even my friend who had her baby last week was stapled shut. It usually depends on the doctor if they use staples or not. Not sure where you got that info but it's invalid.

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  sorenipples  |  9

If you don't want to risk peeing yourself because of a natural birth, don't get pregnant. Because you will piss yourself at some point in your pregnancy. Also, you're very selfish if you're more worried about your looks than your baby.

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  Nacho522  |  11

I hope you don't really think if you don't breastfeed your tits won't sag. You should see what they do when you don't breastfeed and they get engorged. Bye bye perky titties. I didn't breast feed because I couldn't and for 2 weeks straight I had no relief with my breasts 3 times the size they are now. I would have done anything to breastfeed my baby just to relieve the pain. And what they look like now is nowhere near the awesome way they looked before. I just hope you don't ever have children while you're still so small minded. Maybe one day you will understand the joy a child could bring someone.

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  mommy2cassidy  |  18

I was terrified of having a c-section. I think the only thing that sounds appealing about a planned c-section is knowing when your baby is going to be born. I had my daughter naturally 6 years ago and recovery was a breeze compared to what mamas who have to have c-sections go through. Maybe my fear was because I was only 19 but even now I'm a little worried if I would ever have to get one. I had gallbladder surgery and that was brutal. The cuts weren't very big either.

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  tlnorman  |  18

You're an idiot. The vagina will heal and like an elastic go back to its original size with the proper exercises. A c-section leaves a massive scar, takes twice as long to recover, can and has resulted in torn bladder tissue, and is basically really unpleasant to go through. Also and most importantly when having a c-section your body doesn't release the oxytocin it does during normal delivery which allows you to better bond with your baby and reduce pain.

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  tlnorman  |  18

Yes that's why for thousands of years the natural form of birth has been such a problem, oh wait it hasn't isn't that funny. Baby's and mothers also have a high chance of survival with natural birth. I don't remember the ancient Egyptians performing c-sections and in older cases where rudimentary c-sections were performed the mother always died. You are a total moron don't have children we don't need your stupidity spreading like a virus.

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  tlnorman  |  18

Thank you doctor for posting your informative comment. This girl frankly doesn't know her behind from her head, hopefully reading your comment will straighten her out.

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I had to have an emergency c section for my youngest. They stapled me when done, AND forgot one of the staples, which I didnt notice for two weeks because it hurt to move. Had to stay in the hospital for a week because I almost died (and ended up nearly fighting a nurse who tried to make my mom take my baby home with her) and then another week at my moms because I couldnt take care of my baby by myself and my bf works. Also, I felt everything, and the scaring is a lot more noticable then a little tearing that might but probably wont occur.

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  SevaMew  |  0

I've said it a million times, I have ZERO regrets over my planned c-section. I hunted around and found an excellent doctor who performed the surgery, I went in calm and feeling in control and healed with no issues. 10 months later my scar is already barely visible. Best decision ever.

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  MrConcise  |  34

Some people never recover from baby weight because their set weight point adjusts to their pregnancy, meaning their body will fight to keep their weight up to where it was before having the baby. That's why baby weight is so infamous for being hard to get rid of. Well, that and the crying offspring that takes up 90% of your time. Essentially, props on OP for keeping a healthy enough diet for it to go away naturally.

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  mommy2cassidy  |  18

I breastfed after my daughter was born for 14 months. All the weight I gained (53 pounds) was gone after about 6 months. Some people argue breastfeeding does not help lose weight but I swear by it. I did not work out at all.

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If it wasn't her regular doctor than she probably was paying attention to what he looked like while pushing a 10lb baby out. Not to mention people look totally different in scrubs and surgical masks than regular clothes.

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  mobigomo  |  5

OP here. He was the on call doctor so I had never seen him before. Plus he was wearing scrubs, a surgical cap, and it was the middle of the night so it was dark for the most part. Plus he probably spent about 30 min in my room all together including checks and me pushing. I knew the doctor was young and tall but I wouldn't have been able to remember more than that.

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