By divorcee - 06/09/2012 03:27 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 095
You deserved it 4 080

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Sucks for you, OP. but do they have to call you by name every time? Can't they just say 'miss' ?

A100893 30

Have them call you Ms. (Whatever letter your ex-husband's name started with) that way it isn't as painful.

Comments

Should've just kept your maiden name when you got married, eh? If you ever get married again, you know what to do.

SeniorHaG 4

Give an A+ to the kid that actually knows your last name, that's what my middle school teacher did.

Trix_Disorder 20

#15: In college, I had a teacher who put this as the first question on the first two tests: "What is the name of your professor for this class?"

I guess it's weird because I had teachers who liked their first names/nicknames. Rarely was it mr. or mrs.

A lot of people find that very disrespectful. A teacher isn't supposed to be your buddy. A simple 'miss' or 'mister' isn't so bad since you acknowledge their position as your teacher.

At my school, we never called our teachers Mr. or Mrs./Ms.

At my school, we get detention for disrespect if we call a teacher anything but Mr/Ms/Mrs. (insert full last name) It just depends where you go.

I had a teacher who actually quit because of the nickname we gave her. It was hilarious. All she ever heard was "Dowski help!" and she couldn't make us stop. I've nicknamed dozens of teachers and none of them have cared aside from her.

trellz17 19

Wow I can't imagine how that would feel. Don't worry you'll heal in time!

SeniorHaG 4

I don't get why people switch their last names when they get married O.o"

Tradition, sense of belonging to the family, sense of spousal bonding, etc. But usually they just do it because it's tradition. Women used to be considered property of their husband once they were wed, which is why they changed the surname to match. It's becoming less and less common to do so. It certainly makes divorce a pain when you've taken his name. I still receive stuff with my old married name on it. OP, surely eventually the kids will learn your "new" name. If not, the kids next year will know! Maybe they can just call you by the first letter, as someone else suggested. Then you can be the 'cool' teacher for doing it. Either way, it will get easier, day by day.

It's also becoming less common to do so for professional reasons, for example: The majority of university students (in the US at least) are women. Women who pursue academic careers (professors / researchers) will be writing many articles for scientific / historical / literary journals. If it can be avoided, you don't want to change your name after you've been published. Keeping the same name makes it easier for other researchers to find your full body of work.

Just because it's traditional doesn't mean it's not stupid. See bullfighting, for example.

Because it makes sense. You start a new family with someone, you want to have the same name. Imagine having a family with a bunch of last names. Frank Johnson and his wife Mary Franklin, their son Tyler Johnson their daughter Susan Franklin, her husband Joe Parker, their child Anna Franklin, their other child Thomas Parker, who's married to Elizabeth Miller. See what I mean? With the same last name, you'll have Frank, Mary and Tyler Johnson. Before Susan married, she was also a Johnson. It makes sense to share your last name with your spouse.

spiritfang11237 16

When my 3rd grade teacher got married our class learned her new name within a week. Perhaps you will get as lucky? If not, bribery helps.

robo_thunder 13

Maybe it's different for you, but school just started here. So wouldn't that work perfectly for a new start? Also it shouldn't take them that long to learn the new name anyways.

Just because all FMLs have to start with "today" doesn't mean they happened today. Also, if it's a teacher (in elementary school, I'd assume) who "graduates" with her class, that could explain it. Or if she has older students, she might just teach multiple classes and have students who had her the previous year.

Why not let them address you by your own name from day 1? When I went to school that was the way things were.

it's similar but not as severe, but I dated my coworker and after we broke up a while ago some of my slowpoke coworkers still ask me why shes around with another guy

captainburke 5

Yeah and that's kind of awkward