Health, Accident, Tattoos and Animals: Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet...

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 05:15 - Australia

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 308

You deserved it 43 566

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 653

You deserved it 8 334

Chill out

By HURP - 17/06/2015 15:41 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 089

You deserved it 13 154

He was just chillin'

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 13:59

Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 989

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 448

You deserved it 870

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 301

You deserved it 23 893

Freakout

By emmey - 23/07/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 915

You deserved it 44 864

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 945

You deserved it 1 160

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 227

You deserved it 41 614

Panic! In the Bathroom

By MAWZ - 19/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 742

You deserved it 5 151

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

AliMarie 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 15:01

Uh. . .this just confuses me.

Tribulations 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 15:18

That is undoubtedly the worst tattoo ever worn by anyone ever.

Comments

aback 4

Thursday 29 October 2009 15:52

Some of us have to get drunk to fall and hurt ourselves. It's nice to know that others are high on life.

youthink_fml 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 15:59

Fake tattoo? How old are you? 12? Even if it WAS a spider, you freaked out enough to fall? Failure on two counts.

The_Advice_Guy 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 8:08

You are aware that she lives in Australia.That's a place where you wake up and have to battle eleven of the world most dangerous spiders just to use the washroom.Not to mention other such beasts...

aussieoioioi 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 12:39

Not really.... ive only ever seen a deadly spider once, and it was on a campsite and i go camping at least once a month :P and in general, depending on where you live there arent many spiders... like in the cities youd only see a small number a year but i see where youre coming from :)

AnnieIsTheShizz 0

Monday 7 December 2009 7:18

Um, not only 12 year olds get scared by spiders, she may have arachnaphobia or just might not like spiders very much, it's not like they are cute and fluffy. Seriously, I bet you would have done the same thing.

perdix 29

Thursday 29 October 2009 16:20

You ought to shower with "afraid of shadow" girl so one of you idiots can cushion the fall of the other. You could also invent the genre of comically slapstick clumsy lesbo ****.

omghehehe 0

Friday 30 October 2009 6:14

(hahaha) maybe they are related :D Btw, not all females are like this. Really

Fuzzy_Mama_Llama 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 16:25

Wow people. It's really not that hard to understand.... She's just really dumb is all.

jackkerouc9 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 16:39

Blonde alert is in effect.

RushFanatic 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 17:14

Hahahahaha!!! This made my day. *clicks add to favorites*

containsnosoy 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 17:20

Why would you put on a temp tattoo right before your shower?

no0000ob 0

Friday 30 October 2009 0:48

lol ur so rite

yehr 0

Monday 30 November 2009 12:55

she didn't say she put in on right before. She just said she put it on, then when she had a shower, blah blah blah

Expertfail 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 17:57

Anyone else this that this is an 'only a woman could manage it' FML?

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 29 October 2009 18:00

Anyone else "this" that this is the most inept attempt at a comment ever? I don't know what drugs you're on or what injury you sustained to your head, but it negates whatever small amount of truth could possibly be in your sexist comment.

binaryalice 0

Friday 30 October 2009 3:47

pwn.

drummer_dude 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 17:59

I don't get why some people don't get it, are they stupid? OP, sounds painful :( FYL

Glam_fml 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 18:44

I think half of the commenters here are even more stupid than the OP. Honestly, it is not that hard to understand. I'm surprised some of you can even manage ro turn on a computer...