Miscellaneous: Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini...

By gross - 09/04/2015 16:00 - United States - Muskegon

Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 695

You deserved it 2 416

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Same thing different taste

By ydahs - 08/05/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 759

You deserved it 19 606

Welcome to the danger zone

By Anonymous - 15/04/2022 22:00

Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 306

By rebekah - 03/04/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463 265

You deserved it 77 119

By BookBabe - 25/03/2012 15:34 - United States - Panorama City

Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 286

You deserved it 37 938

By canadiankc - 04/06/2009 02:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 404

You deserved it 8 552

No warning

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 742

You deserved it 495

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 850

You deserved it 8 408

By iannie - 31/07/2011 21:45 - United States

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 384

You deserved it 39 495

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 04:26 - United States

Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 986

You deserved it 6 348

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By Eddie - 07/03/2021 23:00

Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 118

patrickalamo 47

Thursday 9 April 2015 23:58

So are you thinking your boyfriend tried it on first?

LunaaBluee 27

Friday 10 April 2015 0:00

That's why I think you should always wash the clothes you buy before putting them on.. Just in case

Comments

Teyros 24

Friday 10 April 2015 0:03

*drops present back in the box* that's nasty. Who got you the present your mom?

ShatteredPulse 15

Friday 10 April 2015 4:51

Good one... I guess?

AirBusDriver 23

Friday 10 April 2015 0:06

Ewww... just ewww. Sorry OP, hope your birthday got better after that.

tranced_ 45

Friday 10 April 2015 0:09

Victoria's secret unveiled!

russfml 31

Friday 10 April 2015 3:52

What's her secret, she's full out European? Lol

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

Friday 10 April 2015 5:09

58..ha!

Rkikkas9713 25

Friday 10 April 2015 14:02

Actually the secret is that Victoria is actually Viktor.

Epickitty58 29

Friday 10 April 2015 0:09

Well then...

kayj905 15

Friday 10 April 2015 0:10

In famous words of Cleveland Brown, thats nasty.

wakemeupplease 21

Friday 10 April 2015 0:13

Fml I was eating while reading this!!

Kazze 31

Friday 10 April 2015 0:16

Rule 35 of FML: NEVER eat while actively partaking in the reading of FMLs. You will regret it.

wakemeupplease 21

Friday 10 April 2015 0:25

Ain't no body got time to read the rules

FaguIous 22

Friday 10 April 2015 0:15

gracehi 31

Friday 10 April 2015 0:15

Hey, don't make such a fuss or everyone will want one.

BigC_from_Bama 16

Friday 10 April 2015 0:17

That's a hairy situation someone has put you in.

PePziNL 20

Friday 10 April 2015 1:58

Yeeeeeeeeaaaaahno.

BigC_from_Bama 16

Friday 10 April 2015 2:28

Talk about a grinch :/

karcummings 19

Friday 10 April 2015 0:21

so much for hygienic

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 258

You deserved it 14 929

Today, I went through my boyfriend's old phone to get over a gut feeling I've been having that things aren't as good as they seem. Turns out he's been taking videos of himself masturbating and sending the videos to chicks on WhatsApp, and contacting an old neighbor trying to hook up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 228

The Top

Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 138

You deserved it 2 805

Today, I went to a costume party dressed as a pineapple. As it turned out, the theme was "tropical", not "tropical fruit". Everyone else was in Hawaiian shirts while I stood there looking fruity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 301

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 141

You deserved it 3 979

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 874

You deserved it 7 411

Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 312

You deserved it 3 644

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 534

You deserved it 8 144

Same thing different taste

Welcome to the danger zone

No warning

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