Miscellaneous: Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that... - FML

By PangolinScholar - 25/01/2014 00:34 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by my headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 36 303

You deserved it 4 315

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 18:01 - United States

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 202

You deserved it 4 236

Have you ever zapped anyone?

By Attack of the Electric Dad - 19/01/2023 10:00

Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 151

Zapped

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 11:01 - Germany - Olbersdorf

Today, I got the worst electric shock ever, touching a wire that was connected to the electric fence only by a plastic isolator, made specifically to NOT conduct electricity. I still don’t understand how it was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 139

That's the power of love

By Sorry kitty - 15/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 157

Queasy beats

By Bleh - 08/03/2019 22:00 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I found out that my new, expensive noise-canceling headphones trigger my motion sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 247

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 19:00

Today, I managed to electrocute myself on a plug socket while I was showing a group of trainee electricians how not to electrocute themselves while rewiring a plug socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 223

You deserved it 1 608

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 07:32 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 271

You deserved it 7 872

Noise annoys

By Headed Out - 05/08/2022 21:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I wore out yet another set of headphones. This is the third one in a year. I need my headphones whenever I go outside because I have sensory processing disorder, and a multitude of hearing disorders that painfully enhance my hearing. Guess I'm stuck at home until I can buy pair number four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 198

By honeybunny90 - 28/12/2013 08:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 507

You deserved it 5 884

Sucker

By Anonymous - 08/09/2021 14:01

Today, I tried out my new noise-canceling headphones while vacuuming my house. They worked so well that I didn't hear the vacuum stop when the plug fell out of the outlet. I accidentally had the vacuum off the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 1 007

Next

Top comments

WR4 10

Saturday 25 January 2014 12:30

That's probably not a healthy relationship to have with your headphones...

subwaysurfers 13

Saturday 25 January 2014 13:07

Okay, FML's 5th birthday. I'm sorry fml website. I forget my family's birthday sometimes so I hope we can put this behind. I really cannot go a day without you. Forgive me.

Comments

mattatom17 10

Saturday 25 January 2014 14:16

Try lifting your feet higher when you walk.

Biden_fml 13

Saturday 25 January 2014 14:53

I moderated this!

weveallbeenthere 30

Saturday 25 January 2014 15:10

captain static to the rescue!!!!

Kholonie 9

Saturday 25 January 2014 15:23

Don't feel alone, OP. I get shocked while drinking from the water fountain, and I'm always thirsty...

grashopper8 7

Saturday 25 January 2014 15:54

Get new headphones. It's not you, it's them. Cheap headphones can do this.

uptightpansy 8

Saturday 25 January 2014 16:33

Some people do this. I can't wear watches, I destroy them within 24 hours.

horrorfield 6

Saturday 25 January 2014 16:34

The wires are probably broken someplace... Thats not static shock..

Zamazing 5

Saturday 25 January 2014 16:43

5YL indeed.

itsraquelponce 3

Sunday 26 January 2014 4:58

its for fmls 5th birthday

Dark_Stream 29

Saturday 25 January 2014 16:59

You have to stop wearing your girlfriend's nylons under your polyester pants.

Haberdashing 13

Saturday 25 January 2014 17:07

Pick up your feet. Why are you shuffling everywhere?

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The Top

Today, my crush has been acting weird around me with his best friend. He's been totally avoiding me. I talked to his best friend and I asked about the vibe change, and if they're mad at me. He acted a little surprised and casually said, "No… I mean I did shit-talk you for like two hours yesterday, but other than that we're chill." FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 88

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile, and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 660

You deserved it 31 876

The Top

Today, we did a Secret Santa at work and instead of buying cringe romance novels and candy for this other girl, I bought her a fantasy novel and a bag of dried mangos. When I went to leave for the day, I found both of my thoughtful gifts in the trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 777

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 295

You deserved it 4 619

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 110

You deserved it 6 244

Today, I had to empty out my coin jar to pay for gas. Trying to be considerate, I only brought quarters, but the cashier refused to take it because they didn't want to count out my $10. I don't know how I'll get to work today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 413

You deserved it 473

Today, the girl I have feelings for gave me a really thoughtful handmade gift. She apologized for not buying something. I meant to tell her it’s worth more than anything, or priceless, but my mouth instead said, “It’s worthless." FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 164

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 161

You deserved it 8 430