By dazedandconfused - 18/09/2016 09:44 - United Kingdom - Dorking

Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 447
You deserved it 1 100

Same thing different taste

Top comments

There aren't very many things you can to to earn a week of anger and a threat like that - and they'd all be super obvious. At this point, her behaviour is a bigger issue than anything you might have done. A week of anger is way too angry. Claiming that it's worth leaving you over, but not worth actually telling you what it is, is just messed up? That's a pretty abusive way to treat someone.

If she can leave you for a reason she doesn't even want to explain, maybe she simply doesn't love you anymore, or not enough for her to care... Or she's simply trying to find a reason to leave you, and either way, she's acting like a child, sorry for you man.

Comments

If she refuses to be open with you to fix problems in your relationship, it's probably best if it ends now, particularly if she threatens to leave you over something you can't know.

Take her to the same restaurant and do everything you did again. You'll find out what it was in divorce court.

LtBrenton 16

Call her bluff, threaten to leave yourself unless she grows up and explains. You have ample grounds to anyway.

Maybe OPs wife told him what's wrong with his behaviour over and over again and he totally ignored it or didn't take it seriously. It's funny how most of the commenters here are fast to scream "Communicate!!!!" but never even consider that people sometimes tend to ignore stuff that's been said to them.

Maybe, but she could have said something like, "Once again, you did X, even though I've told you that it upsets me" instead of playing guessing games with her husband. If he does do this a lot, and she has told him before, she can say that.

"Guess it mustn't of been important then?" I would've said that

I'm speaking from experience, do NOT underestimate the seriousness of this warning-sign. You are not in trouble, your relationship is in trouble: one partner is oblivious to pushing the other partner's buttons, and one is willing to fester and stew for a week instead of resolving the issue at hand. Get on your knees, don't beg for forgiveness, beg for counseling or intervention if you want your marriage to survive.

Sometimes we need to get over our pride. He better figure out if she is worth it first.

It's not pride that makes begging bad, it's the fact that it ***** up the distribution of power in a relationship.

One of you is a gigantic asshole. Just not sure who yet. You didn't assault her or something, right? Continue to have sex when she told you to stop? That would make you the asshole, x10. Otherwise, I can't think of any reason she wouldn't be an immature asshole for acting like you say.

I'm no psychologist, but this sounds like some seriously manipulative behavior. Threatening to leave you over something but refusing to tell you what it is? That is neither acceptable nor mature. I don't want to worry you, but it sounds like she's either messing with you or looking for an excuse to leave. In either case, you may either need to reach out to someone who can help (like an actual therapist, or a family member of hers who may be able to get her to talk about it,) or just move on. Best of luck, OP.

species4872 19

So It happened on your date, out where there is other people. Think hard, perhaps you looked at some other women, or was overly chatty to the waitress which your wife presumed to be flirtatious. Did you drink too much? Associate with other people which may have left her feeling ignored. By arguing that you are unaware of what you did, (even if you didn't), is no defense and only compounds the problem as far as your wife is concerned. Perhaps try and seek information from one of her friends if you can trust them. Threatening to leave may just be trying to obtain bargaining power over you.