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By Anonymous - / Tuesday 4 September 2012 15:09 / United States - Saint Cloud
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By  DocBastard  |  38

If this was a swab testing for an STD, you deserve it because you should have used protection. If this was just for fun, you deserve it for being an idiot.

By  FMLshark  |  12

Like an incredible combination of orgasmic ecstasy and mind-blowing pleasure. That's why it's on FML, because it must have felt amazing and he wants everyone else to try it.

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By  one11oh  |  2

How'd it feel?

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  FMLshark  |  12

Like an incredible combination of orgasmic ecstasy and mind-blowing pleasure. That's why it's on FML, because it must have felt amazing and he wants everyone else to try it.

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  desireev  |  17

Definitely! OP forgot to tell you that, for best results, you need to get yourself the most promiscuous of the hoes! Make sure she is DIRTY! Then the swabbing of the cock will be REALLY orgasmic!

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  Sandman366  |  6

Probably like lighting a match in an explosives factory...with a distillery next door. Or someone "cutting" your body inch by inch with bullets...while you're alive. I'd just drink a large bottle of anesthesia first.

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  kmm316  |  9

People who get strokes need to have a tube inserted into there penis that about 1/4 of an inch in diameter. Now that sounds like real pain.

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  mfischer  |  17

You know, normally I cut the first comment some slack because I know that they probably felt pressured to get that treasured first spot. But no matter how much pressure was involved, I simply do not understand how THIS is what you decided to contribute.

By  lovemesomeanth  |  2

You think it hurts you? Think of how the poor cock feels.

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  FMLshark  |  12

If cocks have separate feelings, I feel bad for them, living next to an asshole, having a pussy of a best friend, and throwing up whenever they get excited. (*credit of this joke goes to a shirt I saw the other day.)

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  ant1078  |  7

Idk if #4 is just flat out dumb or just a smart ass joker :s

By  nickenatorsal  |  1

How exactly did that happen?

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There are other reasons for that, like really bad urinary tract infection, or a really bad yeast infection, or he needed testing done for certain types of diseases/infections. It's not just STI's that require that kind of testing.

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  iRoc46n2  |  4

56...You speak the truth because I have actually had this done to me before. I wasn't expecting it but they wanted to do the test to rule out possibilities of an STD. FYI to the fml world, It came back negative as I knew it would. Doesn't mean automatically Op has STD's. They could just be narrowing down possibilities.

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  nerdchic  |  5

There's nothing wrong with being tested.. That way you know 100% that you're clean :) sorry about the pain thou op.. Better that than a STD!! :D

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9, pouring alcohol on your penis would just make it hurt more.

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Whatever you do, keep your mind off it. Instead, think of a brush inside a baby's milk bottle. Mmmmm..milk.

By  DocBastard  |  38

If this was a swab testing for an STD, you deserve it because you should have used protection. If this was just for fun, you deserve it for being an idiot.

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  mudkipsan  |  19

Even people who use protection should get tested on a regular basis. Even if they think they haven't caught anything. Isn't that right, doctor? Good for you, OP.

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  SecretMe00  |  5

They're called STI's... Any person in the medical field should know this. And any type of check up is good.. It's good to know these things, especially when it's regarding your own health.

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  DocBastard  |  38

No, they are NOT called STIs. I, and every other doctor I know, call them STDs. If you'd like to correct all of us, just PM me and I'll give you all our phone numbers. I've seen this stupid argument several times here, and it gets more and more ridiculous each time. Please do yourself a favour and google "STD vs. STI". You'll find that the terms are interchangeable. We do NOT use STI preferentially over STD.

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  BatemanFML  |  0

To show my complete ignorance when it comes to medical terms, I always thought that "STI" was a politically correct term for "STD." I figured that people were becoming overly sensitive about calling the blue warts on their dicks a disease, and felt better calling it an infection

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Sorry Doc, but as a professional, you should know condoms and other protection aren't effective against all STDs. I fully expect to be savaged by the fanboys for disagreeing with you. The "STI" chick is just stupid though.

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  DocBastard  |  38

Fine, I challenge you to name one STD that condoms don't protect against. JUST ONE. Go ahead, I'll wait right here. Herpes? Check. HIV? Check. Gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis? Check, check, check. I'm still waiting.

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  PeeNaught  |  3

Considering the Fml, and your response (being a fan and having read many) I'm totally amused by the fact that you have exactly 69 thumbs up right now Doc, lmao!!

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Doc, I get it now. You're assuming PERFECT use. You know perfect use is uncommon, that's why people still get pregnant now and then even with protection. Even with perfect use, they only reduce infection rates of stuff like HPV/herpes/whatever by like 70 or 80%. So come on now, this shit happens to people, even with protection. Don't spread misinformation.

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  Teyros  |  23

Brool story co. Settle.

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  Shrike  |  22

^ I smell a butthurt glory supporter. Sorry DocBastard, but I've gotta say, you're just seriously full of yourself lately. It's sad, because you used to be a funny and likeable guy. You still are most of the time. It'd be sad if you became just another one of the stupid keyboard warriors on here. I'm not slamming you, it's meant as constructive criticism.

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  DocBastard  |  38

Coffeechick - No, you said that protection isn't effective against all STDs. THAT'S misinformation. Obviously condoms aren't 100% effective, and they only work when used properly. But they ARE effective against all STDs. Shrike - Thanks for the criticism, but I find that ironic coming from you of all people. I'll take it to heart and tone it down. Maybe I have been a bit overly obnoxious lately. Ozuro - I'm sure that happens, but I don't come here for thumbs or glory or whatever else. I come here to say what's on my mind.

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  Isoldael  |  25

It depends on the STD. Seeing that many genital ulcer diseases can cause ulcers in areas that are not protected by a condom, and they can be spread through contact with infected areas, I wouldn't call wearing a condom very effective against those... -shrugs- it all depends on your definition of "effective". Does it have an effect? Sure. Is it 100% safe? Nope.

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  MandieL  |  27

An STI is a car god damnit!!!!! I hate that they changed the name from disease to infection to make people feel less dirty....and it is good to get a regular check up even if you use protection. When my husband and I first got together, we both got checked out for safety sake and he learned the hard way what a gonorrhea incurred...fyl op but good for you for doing it!

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  JackFaire  |  11

My female doctor wanted to do that test to me when I had an STD because she felt I must have cheated on my wife. I had to make my soon to be exwife in to explain that due to her testing we knew what it was and that she was the one that cheated not me.

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