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By samantha711 - / Tuesday 10 November 2009 02:28 / United States
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By  Flutist  |  3

Have you ever looked at child porn? Op: Uh, she was 15... I mean 18... I mean...oh god! Have you ever sexually harassed your employer Op: I wish! I mean, I wish that happened... no didn't happen... no... wait... can we erase the last ten minutes. I don't think we are looking for someone like you. Op's Friend: I am a christian, with magical powers, and I can fly, so I will always be on time. Also I never sleep with people, I am like a plant, I don't need food just water and sunlight. So put me by a window, give me some coffee and I will never sleep. I am always honest, honestly.

By  HeatherFTW  |  0

Do you get along well with others? ... No. Do you tend to have violent mood swings? .... Yes. Are you clinically depressed? ... Sure as shit am. Have you ever had a restraining order against you? ... Who hasn't? Do you take any illegal drugs? .... Fuck yeah, why, you lookin to buy? Sometimes honesty just is not the best policy.

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Common sense! I've taken those tests. When it says something like "Do you like people?" the answer is yes. "Are you friendly with customers even on a bad day?" Yes. Why would they take the honest person when the test clearly shows that the other person is better with people, and thus, better for the job? YDI for lacking the common sense to lie on the test that pretty much all employees who have taken it lied on.

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  wazdog  |  4

I agree it's more a test of common sense. Many times throughout your career you will encounter situations where stretching the truth will result in the best outcome for yourself or your employer. This was one of them.

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  Reyo  |  2

OP: It's less telling the truth and more telling the employer what he wants to hear. My Dad has told me this several times. Sorry you had to learn it this way.

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  WTFsGoingOn  |  0

For everyone who says that all you have to do is lie to make yourself sound like you're the best (i.e. saying you're good with people, that you're well organized, etc) that is not true. I too have failed these types of tests. In fact when applying for one job I was told that I did not pass the personality test to work in a warehouse moving boxes. Yeah...I don't have the personality to work with a box. Anyhow, moot point. After failing several of them I asked a friend's mother who is in the hiring department of a large corporation here where I live. She told me that some companies actually set it up so that people who sound like the best are not hired, often they are assumed to be liars and in other cases some bosses will turn down these people because they are the ones who will end up on the fast track. Which to some people means they will be competition in the work place. I doubt that many of them are based on that, but I can definitely see where some people in management are so insecure that they would do something like that. However, the example of them believing that someone sounds to perfect to be true is something that sounds very reasonable. They know that people lie and try to say what the company wants them to. Sucks for the people out there who are actually nice, honest and hard working. We don't believe they exist, so why hire them if a test says they're real.

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  Rayn4u_fml  |  0

FAIL for not being clever enough to know to embellish yourself (not necessarily lie) in the psychological analysis. WTFsGoingOn…excellent choice for a nickname as you do not seem to have a clue about job interviewing and psychological analysis for hiring. These tests are drafted by psychologists for one purpose: to see if you are fit for the job, i.e. not to see if you are perfect. Fitting in also includes fitting in with the corporate culture and your future colleagues. Also, these tests have ‘trick’ questions to spot obvious liars (just like in multiple choice questionnaires where people who always answer the same/randomly are automatically removed), which is what I think your friend was trying to explain to you. These tests can be prepared for to a large extent, and if you have done a few of these tests (or if you really care about a job), you should know this. Oh, and extra FAIL for failing the warehouse box moving test. Maybe they don’t like self righteous (sorry, I mean “nice”) morons who don’t have a clue. I like this company already.

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  hodgepodge  |  0

If you were to lie on these psychological assessments, and you were to get the job, wouldn't the employer eventually notice your actual personality does not fit the personality you claimed to have in the assessment? I'm pretty sure if someone were to answer "When in a bad mood, I don't show it" and then at work is grumpy towards co-workers and customers, the employer would notice and begin to question your honesty. And when they figure out you lied about everything on the test, you get fired, and they will be sure to tell any of your future employers about your problems with answering questions honestly.

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  Rayn4u_fml  |  0

So you're saying that during an interview, just to avoid lying, you'd say that you're a grumpy bastard with no team-working or interpersonal skills lol? Besides, depending on with country you work in, once you're hired, you don't get fired that easily (which explains the many casting errors in oh so many companies).

By  Laurasian  |  0

No, you just have to actually think about what your potential employer would want to hear. Did you answer that you are likely to steal? Likely to have mental breakdowns? Prone to panic attacks? Stop being an emo kid and use your brain.

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  Epickitty58  |  29

I think the OP would be smart enough to say that they wouldn't murder, assault, or steal. It's possible that the OP has a visible tattoo or a lip piercing or something employers don't like seeing, and the friend didn't. And don't make fun of emo people. That just makes you sound like a conceited dick.

By  crazytoaster  |  2

YDI for not being able to lie. Had i not lied to the psychologist my school and parents sent me to i would probley be locked up by now. Had you lied you would have a sweet job as a defuser on a bomb squad. (I can only assume that is the job you were going for).

By  Flutist  |  3

Have you ever looked at child porn? Op: Uh, she was 15... I mean 18... I mean...oh god! Have you ever sexually harassed your employer Op: I wish! I mean, I wish that happened... no didn't happen... no... wait... can we erase the last ten minutes. I don't think we are looking for someone like you. Op's Friend: I am a christian, with magical powers, and I can fly, so I will always be on time. Also I never sleep with people, I am like a plant, I don't need food just water and sunlight. So put me by a window, give me some coffee and I will never sleep. I am always honest, honestly.

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  Flutist  |  3

See Op that is how you do it. You turn the bad into the good. Charges of sexually harassment--well you are just a people person. Hit your last partner for taking your sandwich, well you sir just know how to protect the product. Have no friends... you are dedicated to work. No one likes you, well you are just different, which is good, you have original ideas. See, spin it.

By  HeatherFTW  |  0

Do you get along well with others? ... No. Do you tend to have violent mood swings? .... Yes. Are you clinically depressed? ... Sure as shit am. Have you ever had a restraining order against you? ... Who hasn't? Do you take any illegal drugs? .... Fuck yeah, why, you lookin to buy? Sometimes honesty just is not the best policy.

By  StaticDown  |  0

sometimes honesty is the best policy doesn't work. I had the same happen, my friend made up some crap and I was honest, and he got the job, but in the end he got fired since he lacked some skills he claimed to have so I felt a bit better... Next time fill it out wisely, know what they want but also keep in mind what skills you can demonstrate and how good you can act out what you lied about... If you overdo it with the lies then it might be pretty obvious on the job...

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  crews200  |  0

This happened to me and a couple of my friends. We all went out for some holiday position in a clothing store in a mall. All of us failed the test they give you. And to be honest, I tried to fill it out so it was what the store wanted to hear. Well needless to say none of us got the job. But, the kid that did wound up stealing from the store.

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