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semokco Say more :
Howdy! Op here. So nice of all of you that assume that I'm not doing my part. Let me say: I am. Our marriage is not sexless, I do express and have expressed my love in creative and whole ways. Our marriage is not "sexless"- there is a possible pregnancy, ATM.
By semokco - / Thursday 14 May 2015 18:59 / United States - Seminole
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By  MrsPegg  |  45

That is so messed up on many levels. I am so sorry OP! I would say try counseling if you desire to, but I know from experience that it's always easier said than done to make a spouse work on marriage; especially when it sounds like she's already moving on. :(

Comments
By  tzemmy  |  25

Then you should confide in her. Communication is key. Even if you feel like the relationship is good, obviously she doesn't. Bitch move by her, but clearly she isn't happy with the relationship.

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  phaelnb  |  24

Not a simple bitch move, if she's actively looking to cheat him and doesn't give a shit to cover up it seems the relationship is already over, she just didn't tell him.

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  MrConcise  |  34

"Just didn't tell him" is the bitch move part, not actively looking to cheat. If you want out of a relationship, that's not bitchy. Not ending it before pursuing other love interests is.

By  MrsPegg  |  45

That is so messed up on many levels. I am so sorry OP! I would say try counseling if you desire to, but I know from experience that it's always easier said than done to make a spouse work on marriage; especially when it sounds like she's already moving on. :(

By  kavyashahs  |  16

The coworker will give her milk for free.

By  Shipley18  |  17

You need to heat things up then. At least she didn't actually sleep with him....that we know of

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  Shipley18  |  17

Pretty sure if their marriage is "loveless and sexless" they should put more into their relationship whether it is by heating things up (which works for some) or by therapy. If they have already tried to help there relationship and it isn't working then maybe they weren't meant to be

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  Shipley18  |  17

Yeah it was fucked up for OP's wife to tell her coworker that, but OP shouldn't just give up on his wife for one mistake. They need to talk it out and try to make their relationship work

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  funneh1  |  21

One mistake? That's one hell of a mistake. He should not give her (a futuristic cheating bitch) any second chances. She obviously doesn't care for her hubby. Oherwise she would of confided in him long ago. OP deserves someone who will be faithful to the bitter end and returns the same amount of love he gives. I can't understand your point of view.

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  Shipley18  |  17

Everyone makes mistakes. Maybe OP wasn't putting enough effort into the relationship and maybe he was. But should he let this ruin his whole marriage? No she can't be trusted, but they should try to work things out. She told the guy she wanted to sleep with him and yeah that wasn't the smartest idea but I'm guessing she's not the only person in the world who finds someone other than her spouse attractive and wants to sleep with them. She's an idiot and yeah she should have talked to her husband but at least she didn't sleep with the guy. Maybe he should give up on the relationship, but maybe he shouldn't. It comes down to how they both feel about each other and whether they want to try to fix their relationship.

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  bonermonkey  |  31

this comment makes it sound weirdly like she thinks its his fault. which is ridiculous. even if their relationship isn't working her behaviour is well out of order.

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  superspooky  |  13

#24 yes everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone makes huge mistakes such as making plans to cheat on their spouse instead of talking to said spouse about their unhappiness.

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  little_one  |  20

I've freaked out and broken down over my husband and I not having enough sex. It messes you up, you feel unloved, ugly, and a ton of other awful things. Maybe once a month is enough for him but she is sexually frustrated. In my case my husband was over worked and tired, where my energy and excitement level spiked. So every time I tried to start something he was tired or not in the mood. I sent him a massive message saying I felt unloved and no longer sexy, at first he called me crazy and that we have sex all the time but when I asked him when the last time was he realized how long it had been. He apologized and said he'd try be there for me more. I was so ramped up I barely entertained the idea of sleeping with someone else but really all I wanted was my husband to love me and prove it by making love to me. Marriage is HARD, sometimes you're head over heels and wanna say I love you a bazillion times, other times you're annoyed, upset, even disappointed. That's life. The OP's wife may have held her feelings in for so long she doesn't know how to talk to him. OP now that you know she is unhappy tell her you know and ask her why.

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  be82tw  |  16

@18... that wasn't a mistake. A mistake is when you do something by accident, or you do something without understanding how it undermines your intent. This wasn't a mistake, it was as deep a betrayal of trust as if she'd slept with the coworker. Hats off to people who come back from something like that, but it is hard, painful, and very uncertain. I would agree with trying to save the relationship in principle, but I wouldn't judge a man at all harshly if he felt that his wife declaring their marriage loveless and sexless while trying to get it on with her (his?) coworker was simply too much. FYL OP

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  danihammer  |  4

I agree with you... I think the problem here may be miscommunication. The wife may even have done this to get his attention. It's not unheard of for someone's partner to be totally oblivious to the fact that their relationship is loveless and sexless. Especially if they're a workaholic. It wasn't right for the wife to run off and try to cheat instead of dealing with the issue headon, but I'd like to know why this is "news" to the op?

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