Intimacy: Today, I found out I have 2 STDs. My boyfriend and I waited 2...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By howdidithappen - 15/05/2009 23:08

Today, I found out I have 2 STDs. My boyfriend and I waited 2 years before having sex, and we were both virgins. Now I have to explain to my mother why exactly I need antibiotics. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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Insurance Plumbing Awkward Money Suspicious Relatable Cheating AITA Relationship advice Love Weird First Dates Marriage Poopoo peepee Gross Health Mental health Cars Death Parenting Family Kids Miscellaneous Transportation Capitalism My ex Instagram Social Media Friends Public freakouts

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Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 80

Today, while talking to my close female friend whose roommate I have a crush on, I learned that my crush shaves her bikini area into a heart shape. I also learned that my crush is apparently also asexual, so I have no chance with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 311

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Today, I finally told the girl I'm in love with how I've felt ever since we first met six years ago. She let me know that not only does she not feel the same way, she's always considered me a creep and only ever hung out with me because of our mutual friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 578

You deserved it 990

Today, I began my ritual of my afternoon wank. As I was about to finish, I noticed my dog staring at me from across the room. We shared a longboard stare as I came, and I can't look him in the eyes the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 014

You deserved it 5 023

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 507

You deserved it 15 379

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 974

You deserved it 27 883

Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 226

You deserved it 3 122

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 183

You deserved it 4 681