Animals: Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently,...

By ghoul - 08/03/2011 11:32

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 847

You deserved it 4 224

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Same thing different taste

It's alive!

By notmyrealname123 - 25/08/2014 00:08 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 724

You deserved it 6 422

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 15:30 - United States

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 690

You deserved it 18 296

By "jonnybones223" - 08/03/2019 04:00

Today, I was awakened by my father saying how proud he was of his little boy. I assumed he meant me, since I landed an apprenticeship in the same union he's worked in for 25 years. Turns out he was speaking about his cat, who left a dead squirrel next to my bed. I stepped on the damn thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 247

You deserved it 210

By Sid - 10/04/2011 00:58 - United States

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 696

You deserved it 41 746

Cute

By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 478

You deserved it 15 513

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:42 - Ireland

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 919

You deserved it 3 204

By Facepalmum - 10/01/2013 06:28 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 581

You deserved it 7 936

By tiredmom - 07/07/2016 15:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 332

You deserved it 1 573

By orilykid - 31/10/2012 17:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 092

You deserved it 1 957

By Anonymous - 20/06/2013 16:54 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 723

You deserved it 3 441

savy7093 9

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:04

What's his name?

Ranimal 12

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:05

Future serial killer!

Comments

sourgirl101 28

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:17

That's nuts! Did he want to love it, and pet it and call him George?

Alleged_Cranium 7

Tuesday 8 March 2011 18:20

That's for bunny rabbits, not for squirrels.

ulicksam 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:17

How bad must your place stink if you don't smell a dead squirrel for a week?

blad786 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:24

hope it doesn't have SQUAIDS!

smellymellyy 7

Wednesday 9 March 2011 18:14

Raywilliamjohnson referance FTW!!!

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:27

Would you rather have found his blowup doll under his bed?

sourgirl101 28

Tuesday 8 March 2011 17:14

Psst, that one's hidden in the closet.(:

robotiick 12

Thursday 17 March 2011 1:17

lol good point

seahorses4eva 4

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:29

How old is your son? That sort of determines how I feel about this post.

bryanorange 3

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:29

thats not strange at all

elabby90 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:39

Serial killer in the making tahahaahha:) well that is if he's the one who killed squirrel

amber_dawn12 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:43

aww... poor thing

2010smhill2010 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:46

i moderated this

NJXD 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:52

he should call him mr stickyhead like off of family guy lol

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room. Apparently, there is only one serious side effect of getting your tonsils out when you're an adult, which is only seen in about 1% of patients: bleeding of the throat. It can be deadly. I'm part of that 1%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 887

You deserved it 2 765

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories' sake". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 177

You deserved it 4 620

The Top

Today, I was fired from my job, due to my "performance going down". My performance went down because I can't see due to having a stroke, which management is well aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 302

You deserved it 76

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 139

You deserved it 2 302

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M&M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 863

You deserved it 15 338

Today, I accidentally broke an expensive glass display shelf at work. My coworker joked, "Ooh, that's gonna come out of your paycheck!" My boss thought that was a great idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 445

You deserved it 3 023

Today, I watched my best friend get married. I then watched her completely ignore my maid of honor speech, because she was messing with the lights behind us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 233

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 319

You deserved it 268 824

Same thing different taste

It's alive!

Cute

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