Love: Today, I found a bowl of green beans just sitting in my microwave....

By now afraid... - 03/04/2016 17:28 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I found a bowl of green beans just sitting in my microwave. The only person in my life who ever eats green beans is my psycho ex-girlfriend. She moved out three months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 518

You deserved it 2 214

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Kitchen nightmare

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 13:00 - Iceland

Today, I made a casserole to use up the green beans I've had sitting unused in the fridge for over a week. I went out and bought all the ingredients, prepared them, and left them in the slow cooker for 4 hours before dinner. At no point in this did I remember to add the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 323

By Kayla - 06/10/2018 14:00

Today, it's the third day in a row that my classmate next to me has brought green bean casserole to eat in class. The last two days I could hold back my vomit, but today I couldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 409

You deserved it 518

By sad - 05/11/2012 07:02 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 819

You deserved it 3 477

By YaytoSeniorYear - 05/09/2017 20:00

Today, my roommate revealed that she's dating my ex. I later had to navigate around them caressing each other just to grab my noodles from the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 814

You deserved it 293

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 554

You deserved it 17 489

By youwouldbeacat - 28/04/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 744

You deserved it 53 561

Go vegan

By Done - 24/11/2020 05:02 - Italy

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 87

Wealth gap

By Anonymous - 06/01/2023 08:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 1 262

Healthy lifestyle goals

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 10:00

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 173

All grown up

By Anonymous - 22/07/2022 00:00

Today, I made broccoli and peas with dinner. My girlfriend pouted, sulked, and refused to eat "yucky veggies", demanding fries or chips. Apparently, I'm dating a fucking toddler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 245

stinkfire0971 20

Monday 20 February 2017 1:18

well I hope you get a restraining order for about 2000 green beans.

TheGestalt97 11

Friday 5 June 2020 10:16

eww green beans? wtf? but yeah restraining order

Comments

stinkfire0971 20

Monday 20 February 2017 1:18

well I hope you get a restraining order for about 2000 green beans.

TheGestalt97 11

Friday 5 June 2020 10:16

eww green beans? wtf? but yeah restraining order

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The Top

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 289

You deserved it 3 430

Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 340

You deserved it 6 297

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 669

You deserved it 12 649

Today, my grandma gave me the task of picking up her cat from the vet. As I carried him out, I heard a really deep and scary noise that caused me to drop the pet taxi with him in it. Then I heard it again, more loudly this time. Turns out that's what his meow sounds like. He never meows, so I had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 165

Today, I had a phone interview, my first job interview in months. Two seconds in, I not only lost my signal, my phone froze up and stopped working completely. For six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 82

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 751

You deserved it 56 752

Today, my grown up, unemployed boyfriend stole 70 dollars from my wallet and tried to hide it in two different places in case he needed to ditch me and go out by himself. He got angry when I confronted him and stormed out. He feels perfectly entitled. I work, pay rent and buy food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 416

You deserved it 7 151