Love: Today, I finally splurged and bought the free-trade soap I've...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By mythemeisred - 16/01/2016 20:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I finally splurged and bought the free-trade soap I've heard so much about. The bath was glorious, until I got out and looked in the mirror. My naturally silver hair is vivid green after picking up the dye, and I get married tomorrow. FML

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You deserved it 0

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Gross Coworkers TMI Work Racism Customers Kids Scary Gamers Technology Geek Miscellaneous Neighbours Animals Health Insects Plumbing Awkward Money Insurance Love AITA Roommate Cheating Pregnancy Wanker Intimacy Mental health Parents Relatable

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Today, I went to surprise my girlfriend, who was at work at Target, with flowers. I asked the employee at the entrance if she was there. When he asked who I was, his face lit up red and he started profusely apologizing, stating, “She told me you guys broke up.” before guiding me to her area. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 77

Today, my 12-year-old sister, who sometimes has difficulty coming up with the right words while speaking, used the word "intercourse" to replace "encounter". She was joking to my dad that she, "had an 'intercourse' with Bob Dylan." I can't get the image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 936

You deserved it 1 334

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Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 028

You deserved it 3 536

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You deserved it 5 403

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You deserved it 417

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I agree, your life sucks 4 796

You deserved it 804

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 639

You deserved it 14 164

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 855

You deserved it 16 875