By screwed - 10/02/2013 10:41 - United States

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 560
You deserved it 4 286

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Damn, that is some bad luck. But can't you train yourself to pass obstacles like this?

Comments

Oh come on guys don't be shitheads. *puts shades back on*

Except when Imodium constipates you, because you're not supposed to take it on a regular basis like that, unless you're under doctor's orders.

Now you know how your body reacts to modern life's greatest serial killer: stress. I suspect you don't have a clue as to where to start a new carreer. Pleo, it's your cue I'm out of ideas.

I bet all those ruined marriages are coming back at you.

Alright, no one gets the shades. *throws shades off a bridge*

klovemachine 24
BubbleGrunge 18

OP, maybe you could talk to a doctor of some kind who could prescribe you something for anxiety. Or, if that isn't your thing, take up meditating or something along those lines.i have anxiety and panic attacks, which sometimes cause an upset stomach, but at the times when taking a relaxing medication isn't feasible (like, at work) I learned breathing exercise that do wonders for me! Good luck; anxiety is a bitch!

I bought some hypnosis/relaxation app for social anxiety, at the very least it's been helping me sleep well for the past few weeks, and just that alone has a rather calming effect that can help in stressful situations. I know it's not for everyone, but when you're out of other options, it's worth a shot!

Blacksabbath211 9

Dismantles shades, teleports to middle earth, and hands the shades to Frodo with instructions to throw them into Mt. Doom.

i dont feel like wearing these anymore *removes shades*