Miscellaneous: Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I... - FML

By FuckYou - 02/07/2012 06:07 - United States - Santa Maria

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 649

You deserved it 54 039

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Princeton

Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 787

You deserved it 6 262

No yolk

By eggonmiface - 01/07/2018 15:00

Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 432

You deserved it 501

Caught in 4K

By BrutallyBlonde - 31/12/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 845

You deserved it 56 767

By Eggs - 15/11/2013 05:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 085

You deserved it 3 147

By eggs - 28/02/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 392

You deserved it 9 206

By whatgoesaround - 15/08/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 544

You deserved it 56 381

The Blob

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 17:02 - Germany

Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 276

By stairmaster - 05/04/2011 07:47

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 423

You deserved it 45 858

By JTinNJ - 27/08/2016 11:57 - United States - Parsippany

Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 572

You deserved it 3 076

By bit - 30/07/2009 10:01 - United States

Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 481

You deserved it 64 430

Next

Top comments

randomthing 22

Monday 2 July 2012 12:00

You definitely deserved it.

tswizz 13

Monday 2 July 2012 12:03

You were going to egg a house? How old are you? Twelve?

Comments

Fmlsea 28

Monday 2 July 2012 12:09

why bother doing that , he would screwed him self over eventually but instead karma chose to give you a lesson . a ex is a ex for a reason they stay in your past and you move on , not keep crap going YDI .

SovietBarney 8

Monday 2 July 2012 12:10

I guess you didn't eggsecute the plan like you wanted to.

Jordan740 6

Monday 2 July 2012 15:26

All of these puns are getting eggxtremely annoying.

Michael_92 20

Monday 2 July 2012 12:10

Anyone else wondering what the ex did?

celeste0125 0

Monday 2 July 2012 12:17

Yep

Crazberry 5

Monday 2 July 2012 12:24

Yeah, #9 :P

downtime 12

Tuesday 3 July 2012 4:35

I wouldn't be surprised if all he did was break up with her and start dating someone else. Or maybe he forgot her name during sex...

FYLDeep 25

Monday 2 July 2012 12:18

Derp.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Tuesday 3 July 2012 0:09

Shut the derp up.

JayRule28 0

Monday 2 July 2012 12:18

And so are you

KitGrey 4

Monday 2 July 2012 12:24

Ugh that is like the least original form of revenge. Fate is telling you to come up with somethung better.

KrayKrayGurl117 7

Monday 2 July 2012 12:28

Now you're going to get karma for your username

zandalee 19

Monday 2 July 2012 12:29

Egging his house is so old. If you do need revenge think carefully. Do something that will teach him a lesson privately and maturely. Karma is a bitch. What goes around comes around.

haj_fml 4

Monday 2 July 2012 12:29

Now he's your 'eggs-boyfriend'. Hur hur hur.

pinkdisco 3

Monday 2 July 2012 12:41

Lol yeah, karma is the bitch....

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The Top

Today, my boss agreed to a 20% pay rise, in exchange for adding a list of new responsibilities to my job description that will effectively double my workload, which he expects to be carried out in the same 8 hour workday, and not on overtime either. My boss is my dad and I hate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 138

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's spider-infested shed where I refused to set foot, where he is constantly fixing the mower, bikes, or his car, is actually just a sound recording of power tools he plays so I won’t go down and disturb him. He has a TV, an Xbox, and a fridge in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 464

The Top

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 904

You deserved it 2 935

Today, I went on a Segway tour in Budapest. The Segways have an automatic speed limiter, and to release it and get back to normal speed, you have to brake. Unfortunately, I forgot my speed limiter was on and so, while trying to brake, I instead returned to normal speed and crashed into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 427

You deserved it 4 693

Today, I was involved in an intense argument with my dad. Just as I yelled, "You haven't done one thing for me", my phone rang. The same phone that, as of today, my dad no longer pays the bill for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 5 060

Today, I was nice to my son's friend. He's 27 and needs to get a life, so now he won't stop texting me and flirting. I will have to escort him back, not just to the "friend zone", but to the "I'm twice your age and your friend's mom zone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 157

You deserved it 643

Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it, we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 796

You deserved it 53 608

Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 040

You deserved it 6 207