Health: Today, I discovered that spicy ground beef bits are the perfect...

11, that comment is unnecessary, 7, I think people put that because they think OP closed their mouth while vomiting. I don't see any other reason as to how that situation could have happened.

allforfun 23

Monday 5 October 2015 17:37

Because people are idiots

Livelife121 30

Tuesday 6 October 2015 5:11

#7: Sometimes I accidentally press YDI on FMLs when I'm on mobile.

steam_engenius 21

Tuesday 6 October 2015 5:53

I didn't close my mouth while vomiting...The ground beef just kinda made it up there somehow.

artistswife 19

Monday 5 October 2015 8:16

Its best to open one's mouth when vomiting.

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 5 October 2015 20:06

Even with an open mouth it can still come out your nose. Have you never experienced this?

KayDee29 31

Monday 5 October 2015 21:33

#30 didn't catch the sarcasm.

iiTzNeeNerz 26

Monday 5 October 2015 8:21

Well that snot cool.

starglow13 10

Tuesday 6 October 2015 3:40

overused

Anthonymm2 20

Monday 5 October 2015 8:22

Checkmate atheists

twister45 17

Monday 5 October 2015 8:33

Checkmate your face!

timaeusTestified 15

Monday 5 October 2015 11:21

How does that have to do with the FML at all?

Anthonymm2 20

Monday 5 October 2015 15:37

I was referencing a picture but it was kinda a bad reference. Sorry Dirk

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 5 October 2015 20:08

I'd say blowing her nose might work.

Keywords

Parents Relatable Work Awkward Job interview Jealousy Social Media Love Facebook Friends Relationship advice Kids AITA Roommate Shoes Annoying Names Music Customers Money Education Capitalism Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Allergies Dogs Embarrassing

The Top

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 734

You deserved it 10 092

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 1 707

The Top

Today, I told my neighbor that I was going to Réunion Island on vacation in a few months. She said that she'd always wanted to go there. As a light-hearted joke, I said she should come with me. She's now booked a plane ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 270

Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems with it not going off when the car was hit. To demonstrate this to the installers, I bumped my car with my hip, which left a dent, and set the alarm off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 551

You deserved it 28 369

Today, the man who fired me from my job became my stepfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 133

You deserved it 1 706

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 564

You deserved it 9 941

Today, I got fired from my job where you build teddy bears. I got fired not because I did anything wrong, just because they don't like my personality. I'd never worked with my boss, and that means all the employees that work there had a meeting about me, and all confirmed they don't like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 839

You deserved it 6 364

Today, while 9 months pregnant, i was sleeping soundly for once, cuddling with my cat, having a nice dream… until I woke up choking on acid reflux, peed the bed, peed on the carpet and all over myself trying to get to the bathroom. This is not the first time this has happened. At least I didn't puke this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 184