Health: Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

By heheheh - 22/08/2011 06:43 - Canada

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 979

You deserved it 57 710

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Same thing different taste

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 879

You deserved it 4 463

By jerkgirl - 08/04/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 742

You deserved it 113 224

By beatricesank - 23/05/2009 14:03 - Canada

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 987

You deserved it 6 644

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 674

You deserved it 27 489

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 470

You deserved it 9 606

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 479

You deserved it 6 937

By Username - 09/05/2011 17:23 - China

Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 226

You deserved it 10 547

By crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 043

You deserved it 6 597

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 210

You deserved it 52 376

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 1 246

DoubleEdgedBlade 4

Monday 22 August 2011 11:53

How the hell did you manage to do that?

chuchurocket 4

Monday 22 August 2011 11:58

Next time you "practice", unplug it.

Comments

Ukeee_X 19

Monday 22 August 2011 12:01

It takes talent to be that clumsy.

Amy_244 10

Tuesday 23 August 2011 1:31

I really, really hope I don't share that talent... I like having tastebuds!

K_kanaka 26

Monday 22 August 2011 12:02

HOW THE F#^K DID U PULL THAT OFF?!

cufaoil 11

Monday 22 August 2011 12:20

she probably used a spatula to pry her tongue free....

PYLrulz 17

Monday 22 August 2011 12:04

Dumbass!

cufaoil 11

Monday 22 August 2011 12:04

Yes. It is hot enough.

Parazad 16

Monday 22 August 2011 12:05

You're doing it wrong, OP. The iron is not supposed to go near your face.

musicofmylife 6

Tuesday 23 August 2011 4:30

wut dose op mean?

EnEl_Infierno 15

Tuesday 23 August 2011 10:21

Original poster

seanixjayde 14

Monday 22 February 2016 10:22

Yeah what does "OP" mean?

DamnSmooth 0

Monday 22 August 2011 12:06

The more stories I hear, the more I realize this generation is as stupid as it is useless.

vashthestampede 0

Monday 22 August 2011 12:08

What is this, I don't even...

heyhihello95 12

Monday 22 August 2011 12:09

That's what happens when you try to flatten your tongue.

sweetheartxoxo88 7

Monday 22 August 2011 12:09

Not exactly a popsicle was it?

HannahLouise96 13

Monday 22 August 2011 12:09

Herp-a-derp.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 831

You deserved it 10 516

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

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You deserved it 164

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I agree, your life sucks 76 499

You deserved it 4 876

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year-old sister passed out on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 217

You deserved it 59 733

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I agree, your life sucks 8 152

You deserved it 1 051

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I agree, your life sucks 39 459

You deserved it 4 867

Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 407

You deserved it 6 399

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 531

You deserved it 42 833

Same thing different taste

Testing, testing

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