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The microwave was asking for it! Did you hear that tone it used when it beeped? It's lucky your father didn't give it the beating it deserved. Stupid fucking smug appliances.

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7 - Your lamp is obviously smart and couldn't understand how people would be stupid enough to let idiot stay in office, to a point that it couldn't take it anymore and shorted.

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I like to think that it went a little like this: Dad: What are you lookin' at, you dumb microwave. Microwave: I was thinking that you were as fatty as that pork you made me cook today, you swine. You need to go cold-turkey on the booze. Dad: Whaddyou just say? Why I oughta... I'll give you some meat, you little shit. *Takes off pants and approaches microwave sluggisly.* Microwave: What would you have me do with that? I've cooked coctail sausages bigger than that. I know it says "microwave" but that's my method of cooking, not a suggestion of size of portion! Let's not exaggerate here, that's not even a weiner. Dad: You're in for it now! *starts punching microwave* Defrost that, bitch. Microwave: *beeping, buttons being mashed* 1:00 min. Start. You always were a minute-man. Dad: I'm sick of your half-baked insults! *Throws microwave to the floor and smashes it*

The microwave was asking for it! Did you hear that tone it used when it beeped? It's lucky your father didn't give it the beating it deserved. Stupid fucking smug appliances.

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