Health: Today, I ate some food a coworker brought in. they insisted it...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By FallenHero - 19/07/2016 07:34 - United States - South Haven

Today, I ate some food a coworker brought in. they insisted it was delicious, and I agreed at the time. Been cramping and hurling my guts out the last 4 hours after a twelve hour shift.Fml

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 25

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Work Awkward Parents Relatable Job interview Facebook Jealousy Social Media Love Relationship advice Friends Kids AITA Shoes Annoying Roommate Names Music Customers Education Capitalism Money Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Dogs Allergies Singing

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Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 905

You deserved it 74 251

Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 60

The Top

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 316

You deserved it 6 311

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 037

You deserved it 4 154

Today, my hubby and I realised that the most excitement in our lives this week has been watching how far the disabled spider that got shut in the door has made it around our bathroom. We were both watching all week and have only just told each other. No communication and spider voyeurs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 217

Today, while walking to my car through the snow, I noticed the sunroof was open and 2 feet of snow had poured in. Angry, I opened the door to start cleaning. That's when I noticed all the wildlife that had taken refuge inside from the cold. Not only were my seat cushions wet, they were torn open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 884

You deserved it 26 318

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 242

You deserved it 2 963

Today, I got my hand caught in a belt sander while sanding down what was supposed to become a "Caution" sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 362